On a Hill but Still Down :prevOTHcontinuing story:
by Elena7
Summary: Following the characters and lives of Tree Hill's Lucas and Nathan Scott
1. Lonely Road

[] My dear (encouraging but optimistic) friend nominated my story, or so I think, and she said to place a link, which they don't allow on Fanfiction-it is The Tangled Web Awards.  
  
If someone will show me how, I can add a real link later. Thanks to all my readers. []  
  
Chapter.1  
  
Lucas shrugged his jacket closer, walking forward, head bent under the onslaught of cool evening rain. He peered at the blurred roadway ahead, but there was only the dim shapes of wind lashed trees. A soggy leaf hit his cheek and his feet squished where he'd missed the road and stepped into a little ditch.  
  
His mother would be worried if he didn't catch a ride soon. Unfortunately, there hadn't been a single car since his Uncle Keith's truck had sputtered to a halt three miles back.  
  
"I guess that comes from living in a small town," he sighed.  
  
It was about seven, as near as he could make out. Lucas's watch didn't have a luminous dial, so he had to go by his internal clock. Which clearly pointed to a very upset Karen.  
  
"Darn." another piece of gravel had gotten into his sneaker. He sat down on a half rotted log and almost slipped on it's slimy wetness. "What a day," he thought.  
  
Down the woods bordered road came the unmistakable crunch of tires on gravel. Lucas hopped up on one shoe and began waving his arms. The headlights bounced crazily off him as the car sloshed through a hole and braked to a stop.  
  
Lucas grinned in relief and lent toward the dark  
  
window. "Hey-"  
  
"What are you doing out here?"  
  
Dan Scott, lush ride, his carefully creased business shirt and discarded jacket.  
  
Lucas's grateful expression grew hard and cool.  
  
"It's a little far from home." Dan casually looked him over. Lucas held his temper, as he had learned around this man, many years before.  
  
"Had some engine trouble. Couple miles back."  
  
"Driving one of Keith's trucks, no doubt." The way he said "truck"-a dubious hesitation on the word-made Lucas's teeth hurt. He nodded his head, tightly, and shrugged off a fallen twig.  
  
Dan frowned. "Get in the back."  
  
Lucas's fingers just brushed the door handle, froze. The other shadow in the front seat leaned over, muttered,"Dad, do we have to pick him up?"  
  
"Yes, son, as much as I'd like to, we can't leave him here. This stretch is deserted and we're in for a real storm."  
  
"I don't care, you said-"  
  
Lucas had heard enough. He wasn't about to take charity from the man who'd deserted him and left his mother the sad, quiet woman he'd known his entire life.  
  
"Hey!" Dan grabbed the back of his jacket. "Where do you think you're going?"  
  
Lucas smiled coldly." Thanks, but I'll walk."  
  
"What do you plan on doing? It'll take you hours to get back, especially when this storm picks up. You calling your mom to tell her you're alright, or something?"  
  
Lucas's cheeks burned. Dan knew he hadn't a cell, or he wouldn't be here in the first place. And he knew Lucas's weak spot.  
  
"I can make it."  
  
"Lucas, get in the car."  
  
"Dad-" Nathan protested.  
  
A jagged streak of lightning, followed by a muted roar, drowned out his voice.  
  
Dan swore. "Get in the car!"  
  
Lucas twisted away and ducked into the darkness of the woods. He heard Dan cursing, the car door. Heavy footsteps.  
  
"Hey. My dad wants you in the car."  
  
Lucas held his breath. He didn't feel like starting a scene, but Dan seemed determined to have his way, as with everything else.  
  
Nathan crashed into the brush and laughed. "Trying to hide from us?"  
  
Lucas drew himself up." I don't want to cause any trouble, but I'm not going back with you." He faced Dan. "Taking me home isn't going to change anything. It's not going to erase the guilt." His quiet voice made Nathan laugh.  
  
"Guilt? You mean shame for fathering such a little bastard?"  
  
Lucas's eyes narrowed, but he didn't move. He knew Nathan was aching for a chance to take him down, especially in front of Dan, but he'd promised his mom.  
  
"Son." Dan shrugged." We're leaving." He ignored Lucas, not meeting his gaze.  
  
"Dad-"  
  
"We're going!"  
  
Nathan hung back. "You know what? I'd be ashamed, too, if I was your father."  
  
Lucas nodded. "I'd be ashamed to be my dad, too."  
  
Nathan stepped forward. "You're a coward."  
  
"I promised I wouldn't start trouble."  
  
"You've got trouble, whether you want it or not."  
  
Lucas turned his back on him and began making his way to wards the road.  
  
"Your mother. Yes. Such a paragon of virtue. So...how exactly did you come about? Was it in the locker room? And I'm not even sure if you can say 'my dad', because, you know, there were just so many..."  
  
Lucas froze. "Don't you dare say things like that about my mother!"  
  
"Why? The whole town knows-"  
  
Lucas sprang forward, but Nathan was ready and he dodged past him. Lucas saw the move, but the ground was slick and he tripped, falling against the tree Nathan had been standing against. He landed hard, head snapping back onto a protruding rock.  
  
It was blurry. Still cold and wet from the rain, his head felt warm...funny...and he was still falling. Down. Down.  
  
From even further away, a car started.  
  
"He won't come."  
  
"Just get in, son. We've wasted enough time on him."  
  
Then silence. Total silence.[] 


	2. In My World

Chapter.2  
  
The rain had stopped, at last. A damp chill was in the air, carrying the heavy scent of pine and wet woods smells one can never describe but recognizes easily.  
  
The first thing Lucas thought when his head began to clear, was, "What a dream!" because he imagined he was sleeping under a steadily dripping tree in the middle of the rain forest.  
  
But the pain pulsing steadily along his temple denied that.  
  
He raised his left wrist, trying to read the time, but his hands were shaking with cold, so he braced it on his knees and made out 9:30 p.m.  
  
The moon was lacing it's way through the branches; it fell over his shoulders and revealed a dirt stained, water sodden jacket, torn jeans and begrimed blue pullover. Lucas absently noticed that his shoe was untied.  
  
The ground was sprinkled with pine needles and small debris, but it was mostly thick, gooey clay. No wonder he had fallen.  
  
Finally he raised tentative fingers to the source of his discomfort, childishly afraid of what he might find.  
  
A good sized gash; luckily the bleeding had slowed, due in part, no doubt, to the cold. The pain was caused by swelling, however. He almost laughed, recalling long hours spent reading The Hardy Boys Mysteries; how Frank or Joe were knocked over the head in practically every book, with lumps of varying sizes.  
  
Lucas carefully wiped some blood off his forehead and tried to think warm. Shivering made his head ache worse.  
  
Karen must be worried sick. Uncle Keith was probably close to calling out a search party.  
  
"It would be-" he got to his knees, then wrapped an arm around the sheltering pine and stood-"just my luck that somebody-aah-passed me when I was asleep. Unconscious."  
  
No sooner spoken, and his wish was granted. Down the road wafted faint strains of an unforgettable musical style.  
  
"Peyton?"  
  
Lucas struggled to the top of the slope and stared into the wind, wondering if his ears had tricked him. Two tiny yellow dots winked into view. He stepped onto the side of the road, pulling his jacket close. And waited.  
  
The black car started to pass him, sped up, then jerked into reverse. Peyton hung out the window, her light hair tossing softly about her face. Lucas thought of the angel that perched atop the Christmas tree in town every winter, then caught himself as Peyton repeated, "What the heck are you doing up here?"  
  
Lucas wet dry lips and shook his head. "Broke down. Ways back."  
  
Peyton frowned. "You couldn't be any muddier if you'd slept out here."  
  
He almost smiled. "Yes."  
  
"Well, I'm on my way in. Here." She twisted lightly in her seat and pulled a wildly colored throw from some where. "You can sit on this."  
  
"Thanks." Lucas slid his slender frame onto the blanket and tucked his hands into it's folds. Peyton swung out onto the road and eyed him curiously.  
  
"How long have you been out here?"  
  
"Couple of hours." He closed his eyes. "Fell down a hill, it was so dang slippery." He laughed, a low, quiet sound that Peyton felt hid a lot.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Lucas leaned forward. "You care?"  
  
"Hey, I make it a habit never to kick stray dogs. But that's about my limit."  
  
His face had softened as he watched the familiar pattern fall into place. Whenever Peyton gave a hint of opening up, something froze and she reverted to her normal, flippant self.  
  
"Thanks for picking me up."  
  
She shrugged. "I guess I owed you one. Hate debts."  
  
"You and me both."  
  
She smiled. Lucas felt a silly little leap of happiness, quickly squelched by the uneven road.  
  
Peyton glanced across at him. Lucas's hair was dark blond, dripping, shadows contrasting sharply over his unusually pale face. He put a hand to his forehead, lent forward for a breath.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?"  
  
"Fine." His voice was so low she had to lean slightly to catch it. Low; one thing she'd never quite thought about before. Lucas's entire manner could be so low key one hardly noticed him; but his gentleness seemed genuine, never-ending. A fact a lot of girls don't quite appreciate until they've run up against it.  
  
"What are you doing out this way?"  
  
Lucas's question broke her surprised reverie. "I just wanted to get out."  
  
"Out?"  
  
"Out. Out of town. Out of there."  
  
"Sometimes I want to, too. But then I realize I'm not out, because what I'm really running away from is inside of me."  
  
"Where did you dig that up?"  
  
He shrugged. "I think everyone is running away from something."  
  
Peyton stared at him, but his eyes never left the darkened landscape. She reached out and slid a CD in.  
  
Lucas relaxed in his seat, starting to warm, feeling strangely drowsy. Peyton punched his shoulder."Almost there."  
  
He smiled, but already he was drifting away...[]  
  
"Lucas." A tendril of light hair played against his cheek; he smiled faintly and sat up. Peyton was so close their noses practically touched.  
  
"We're back inside the walls." She flipped through a worn leather CD case, barely muttered,"of our cages."[] 


	3. His Girl

Chapter.3  
  
The new night's sky was deep as pitch, the heavens glittering with stars.  
  
Karen traced the patterns with her eyes, one hand resting on her son's arm. She sighed, without turning to look at him, and cleared her throat.  
  
"You know, Lucas, I believe there's something you haven't told me. When you were little, I could always tell when you were hiding things from me. You tried to hide everything, because you were so worried it would hurt me. And that wasn't fair to you."  
  
Lucas blinked up into the moonlight as it passed through a single cloud.  
  
"You know, I felt as if you were that cloud. All alone...people everywhere, and still alone. I guess you liked it that way." He shifted on the steps and Karen watched the moonlight steal over his features.  
  
"And?"  
  
"I didn't mind. I liked it, just the two of us."  
  
"Most parents aren't lucky enough to have a child like I did."  
  
Lucas wrinkled his brow. "I appreciate the past tense."  
  
"Well, you did show up on my doorstep last night-"  
  
"Mom, I explained it all."  
  
"Then you give me this ridiculous story about tumbling down a hill-"  
  
She placed a hand on his chin and gently turned his head. "How does that feel?"  
  
"Not bad. I could've gone to school, though."  
  
"You had stitches, mister. No son of mine is going to go running around after he looked the way you did."  
  
Lucas laughed. "Two stitches?"  
  
"More like two and a half. Besides, the swelling still hasn't gone down."  
  
He sandwiched her hand between his own and pulled it away. "Mom, I'm okay."  
  
"Haley stopped by while you were asleep." Karen smiled in a way that puzzled Lucas. "She left a get well present."  
  
"Women." He let out a mock sigh.  
  
Karen gave him a light swat as he walked into the house.[]  
  
Lucas felt stupid wearing a bandage to school the next morning. Reguardless of the fact that it was about the size of a quarter.  
  
Haley had walked with him, sarcastic as ever, but occasionally he caught her looking at him with a soft glance that aroused a pang of regret. Everyone had been really worried about him, gods knew why. Sometimes he felt that he didn't deserve a friend like her.[]  
  
Lunch time. Nathan was sitting with a group of football heros-Lucas collected his food and sat at a table with his back to them.  
  
He actually had a slight headache and wasn't very hungry, but he picked at the dessert. The cafeteria was crowded, a deep, underlying buzz silencing everything but the loudest of students.  
  
Some one touched his shoulder.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Uh, Peyton!"  
  
She tilted her head. "Should I just put down roots, or do you mind if I sit down?"  
  
"I'm sorry. Of course not." He gestured with his fork.  
  
"Not very hungry?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"I hate most of this." She started unrolling a little paper bag he hadn't noticed before.  
  
Lucas watched her eat, distracted, silently taking in everything around them. He saw some headphones peeking out of a baggy jacket pocket, wondered why she wasn't sitting with someone else.  
  
"Have one."Peyton extended an oversized cookie that looked half smothered in chocolate chips.  
  
Lucas grinned. "Watch out, it's going to explode!"  
  
Peyton raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I didn't know you were a chocoholic."  
  
"I didn't know there were boys who refused food."  
  
Lucas snatched the cookie from her.  
  
"Hey, Peyton. Sharing your little cookie hoard today?"  
  
One of the basket ball players had wandered over. He stared at Lucas pointedly, then took Peyton by the wrist with, "Come on, Peyton. You can sit at our table."  
  
"Let go of me."  
  
"Come on, Peyton. Your boyfriend's over here."  
  
Lucas looked up, jaw tight. "Take your hands off her."  
  
Peyton tried to free herself, but the player jerked his head towards Nathan and pulled her out of her seat.  
  
Lucas turned as Nathan spoke up behind him. "Let her go. Peyton, come on."  
  
"She has legs," Lucas said, quietly.  
  
"And?" Nathan crossed his arms. "Surely there's a follow up to that profound observation."  
  
"She can walk."  
  
Peyton stepped between them. "I don't want something started because of me. Nathan, just shut up and I'll sit with you. I was checking on Lucas, he wasn't here yesterday." She turned to Lucas.  
  
"Thanks, but I don't need a champion."  
  
As she marched off, both boys stared at her retreating form, then at another. Lucas, with accusing eyes and a hard, silent demeanor; Nathan with arrogance, tinged with guilt.  
  
Finally Nathan broke the silence between them. "You weren't at practice yesterday. Whitey was mad."  
  
"My mom wanted me to stay home." Lucas's look dared him to comment on this, but Nathan shrugged. "I'm glad I don't let my mom run my life."  
  
Lucas held his temper as his half brother strode after Peyton; he could read the obvious jealousy in his tone.[] 


	4. And Something Went Wrong

Chapter.4  
  
"I think these school trips are a little pre junior high." Brooke Davis paused on the crowded path and brushed at a mauve tinted shell. "Ooh! These little red things bite!"  
  
"Put something else on," Lucas advised. He was walking just behind the so-called "cheerleaders group"; not from preference, but out of necessity. Coach Whitey was along with the few teachers supervising the hike, and he'd wisely separated Tree Hill's athletes from their star player.  
  
"I didn't bring anything else." Brooke turned, flipping her hair back. She smiled coyly. "Got anything extra I could wear?"  
  
Lucas shook his head, quickly peeling out of his hooded sweatshirt. "Here."  
  
Brooke took the shirt from him and smiled. "You know, I like the whole teeshirt thing on you. It looks good."  
  
"They're cheap and they wear well." Lucas nodded at her and fell back a little, pretending not to notice her parting glance.  
  
"So. You still trying to be every girl's hero?"  
  
Peyton, eyes mocking. She didn't seem to mind the strands of windblown hair or muddy trail.  
  
Lucas tried not to let his admiration show. Sometimes, when he looked at Peyton and saw that lost, little girl look, he imagined what it would be like, just taking her in his arms and holding her close. And then he'd probably get slapped in the face.  
  
"I don't like it when you do that, you know." Peyton scuffed the toe of her shoe on a fallen branch as they fell into step together.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
She rolled her eyes."That stupid look. That-thing you do when you act like I'm going to-to break or something."  
  
Lucas merely smiled at her embarrassment. She squinted up at him, but his face was neither amused nor angry.  
  
"You think I'm dumb, don't you?"  
  
"Do you really want to know what I think?"  
  
She tossed her head, moving away."Probably wouldn't interest me, anyways."  
  
Lucas lowered his voice, but a stray tail of wind caught the words and she couldn't help but hear,"they are not you."[]  
  
"Hey, girl." Brooke caught Peyton's hand and pulled her into the group. "What's with Scott?"  
  
"Which one? They're both crazy." Peyton glanced back a moment later, at Lucas who walked along, hands in pockets, eyes on something far ahead. At Nathan, in the lead, laughing and goofing around with "the boys."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Oh, nothing. And everything."  
  
"Well, it can't be all bad. Someone has been following us the entire day."  
  
Peyton arched an eyebrow. "You mean Luke, who was told to walk behind the cheerleaders yay-yay group because Coach Whitie didn't wan't open warfare?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. A little sweat, a little blood on these boys..."  
  
Peyton stifled a laugh as Lucas cast a surprised glance in Brooke's general direction, one that definitely questioned her sanity.  
  
"What?" Brooke whispered out of the side of her mouth, not turning her head. "Is he looking at me?"  
  
Peyton managed to retain a grave expression. "Ah, yes. He was."  
  
The brunette cheerleader squealed. "I knew it!"[]  
  
Into the afternoon sun Tree Hill's students walked, a long line of straggling, talking, brightly clothed individuals. The teachers wanted to make make camp by nightfall.  
  
Luke had seriously considered dropping the trip, one of the reasons being that Haley was coming with her band of devoted friends: a group he'd teasingly dubbed the "Court of the Tutor Queen."  
  
Not to mention they were walking the lead, and Nathan and co. were close behind.  
  
They passed a good sized stream, wove in and out of the trees, fields of waving grasses, but mostly climbed uphill.  
  
"Alright. Let's set up camp."  
  
The call scattered individuals, for most of them had been previously assigned to various tasks. Lucas left to gather fire wood with most of the guys.  
  
He set out by himself, stopping to chatter at a squirrel that danced in the branches just overhead. He began to get farther and farther away, until he couldn't see the camp anymore. Whitie didn't wan't any trouble, and Lucas knew just staying out of it wasn't going to prevent that. He'd have to avoid trouble.  
  
It seemed eternally peaceful up here. There was a half dried pool where deer and other animals had left a criss cross of tracks. Lucas knelt down and traced one print with his thumb. The deer that had made this must be close by, because it had just started to fill up with water. He wandered,uncovering a few late flowers that he gently tugged up by their roots. They were pink. Lucas held them in his hand, noticed how fragile they were. He tucked them in his pocket to give to Haley.  
  
When he drug several good sized limbs into camp, Lucas spotted Haley, bent over the fire, poking at miniature mountains of foil wrapped potatoes.  
  
"Hey." She glanced up. "Hi, Luke."  
  
"Haley."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You get any closer, you're going to singe those wispy things."  
  
"Excuse me? Wispy things?"  
  
Haley threatened him with her fork.  
  
"Whoa, I meant hair. Hair!"  
  
Haley delivered an imaginary thrust, and Lucas coughed, hands to his chest.  
  
"You better bring back plenty of firewood."  
  
"Hales-"  
  
"What?"  
  
He shrugged, extended the flowers.  
  
Haley stepped back, sarcasm dying. "Thanks, Luke."  
  
He smiled. "Better get some more wood."  
  
"Yes, you'd better."  
  
Luke jogged into the trees, heard a shrill laugh, and Haley's voice floated back to him.  
  
"Hurry, more fire for my cauldron!"[]  
  
Daylight faded to darkness quickly. Tents were scattered around the clearing, the teachers evenly dispersed throughout them.  
  
Haley thought this was the best part of it all. Two bonfires were burnt down to softly glowing night lights, and Lucas sat beside her, just listening to the muted conversations going on around them. Peyton caught Lucas's eye, her head nestled on Nathan's shoulder, and she stared until he looked away.  
  
"What are you thinking about?"  
  
Luke started at the sound of her voice. "How it's so peaceful and quiet up here."  
  
"I know. It's like a church, only outdoors."  
  
Luke nodded, staring up at the sky. "Someone said that the forest is a cathedral."  
  
Peyton followed his gaze. "That's a funny thing to say."  
  
Haley shifted, her arms around her knees. "I don't think so. I think I understand."  
  
Luke smiled at her. She wrinkled her nose back, and he grabbed a pigtail.  
  
"Remember when I used to do this?"  
  
"Come on, Peyton." Nathan stood up, brushing at his jeans.  
  
"I want to stay by the fire."  
  
"Lets take a walk."  
  
The two moved off, beyond the firelight. One of the teachers called out, "Don't go too far!"  
  
Haley shook her head. "I think I'll drag my bedroll out here. The thought of sleeping in a tent with ten other girls..."  
  
One of the guys laughed.[]  
  
Lucas lie in his tent, unable to sleep. He heard Nathan come in, hoped his sleeping bag wasn't the empty one next to his...  
  
"Hey."  
  
Luke rolled over, peered into the dark. Nathan was bent over him. "Outside."  
  
No one else stirred. Luke, in silent misgiving, pulled on his shoes and ducked underneath the entrance.  
  
"What?"  
  
Nathan, fully dressed, stuck his hands in his jacket pockets and shrugged. "Just want to talk."  
  
Lucas wrapped his own arms around himself and frowned. "Why?"  
  
"I think we have some things we need to say to each other. Off the record."  
  
"Anything I say can be on the record."  
  
"Hey. Suit yourself." He started down the trail, toward the stream. Lucas hesitated, then grabbed his baggy camp shirt from the bag next to his bed.  
  
Nathan was already out of sight. Lucas jogged after him, suspicious.  
  
"Over here."  
  
His half brother was sitting on a moss covered log, hands folded beneath his chin.  
  
Lucas pulled his shirt on and slowly sat beside him.  
  
"You know..." Nathan stared at his hands. Lucas was sitting in the only patch of moonlight; it was hard to read the other's expression.  
  
"I always hoped, when we were just kids, that you would be my friend. I didn't have anyone, either. I was just a lonely little kid, and then someone said , 'look, there's your big brother.' " Nathan cleared his throat. "I never would have thought we would have ended up like this."  
  
"Enemies, " Lucas interjected, quietly.  
  
"My dad hates you."  
  
"You hate me, " Lucas said, simply.  
  
Nathan shook his head. "It'll never work. You know it'll never work."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You, being on the team. Being one of us. You're not. Our style, everything-you're from one side of town, I'm from another."  
  
Lucas watched him, eyes uncertain.  
  
"Peyton will never be with you. And I see the way you look at her. I see the way that brown eyed chick looks at you. It's a crazy world."  
  
Lucas's tone was gentle. "It doesn't have to be."  
  
Nathan laughed, a bitter, short exclamation. "Look, my dad already has my future all mapped out. Things just don't happen because you want them to."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because that just isn't life."  
  
Lucas's voice came out ragged. "Why not? Isn't life already enough of a hell hole, it doesn't mean we have to get stuck in a rut and-and just sit there and take it! Look, I'm not going to sit here and take it. Not only for myself, but for my mom." He looked away. "The past is the past. They're not our mistakes, we shouldn't shoulder the blame."  
  
Nathan's answer sounded hopeless. "But don't we? Don't we shoulder all that guilt every day of our lives?"  
  
"I do. I do." Lucas swiped a rough hand across his eyes. "But you're still my brother."  
  
Nathan stood up abruptly, fists clenched. "I'm sorry. I don't think I can deal with that."  
  
He strode down the path, leaving Lucas to stare after his retreating form, feeling that he'd just lost the last chance he'd ever have to patch the shattered ties between them.  
  
Lucas was angry. Angry at himself, for failing. Angry with Nathan, for giving up so easily. Angry....  
  
His anger melted to sadness, and he curled against the tree, head on his knees, waiting for the turbulent emotion to pass. All thoughts of the school trip vanished, and he was filled with a sick, longing ache to have his mom smile and tell him what a foolish boy he was being.[]  
  
Half an hour later he wandered into the clearing, eyes bright and jaw set. Lucas stretched out on one side of the dying fire, behind one of the logs they'd used as a bench, and cushioned his head in his arms.  
  
The breeze blew through the trees, damp, cold, lifting his shirt, tousling his hair.  
  
Lucas rolled onto one side, hesitated. A shadowy figure with light hair framing it's face...  
  
Peyton, cheeks streaked with wind dried tears, crossed the deserted clearing, hugging herself, eyes raised to the gently glowing stars.  
  
Lucas caught his breath as the moonlight splashed over her features; open, unmasked, honest. He bit his lip and remained silent as she sank to the fireside and tilted her head up wards, looking, listening.  
  
In the dark he watched her, looking at his stars, listening to his own voices.[]  
  
Fade out: gently spinning, a leaf in the moon light, above the two lying side by side, almost together, too proud to show the world what was in their hearts...and afraid, if they did, it would kill them................... 


	5. These White, White Walls

Heavy white curtains, blowing in the light breeze. A shadowed, severe looking room with clean, cracked tiles and the sweet smell of antiseptics...  
  
A heavy, cold machine in the corner. No, two machines...lights...dark...[]  
  
The next thing that penetrated Lucas's world was sound.  
  
Some of them seemed to drone on and on, until it felt like a blade, sawing at his mind. Then there were cool voices...usually accompanied by hands.  
  
And...occasionally...the voice. It made him want to wake up right away, but he knew it was best not to fight it. He would try to hold onto that sound, because he knew it was Karen's.....[]  
  
Nathan could sense he was in a hospital. Being an athlete all his life had introduced him to the pains from accidents and injuries. Dan had always got him into the little hospital outside of Tree Hill, no matter how insignificant the wound. It was part of staying fit, he'd been told, over and over. Protect your mind, protect your body.  
  
The trouble with remembering was that he couldn't recall the game that had sent him here. He hoped he'd done well; in the back of his mind, Nathan sensed that he would have.[]  
  
"So, what do you have for us today?" Karen faced the docters anxiously, her hands twisting a little charm on the bracelet Lucas had given Karen on her last birthday. She turned it around and around, trying to keep calm, but realized she was failing miserably.  
  
Dan Scott stood beside her; well, not close, just near, out of necessity because of the room's size. He leant forward, across the docter's desk, and pounded it with his fist. "Answers! We want answers, not a bunch of medical terms and empty promises!"  
  
The thin, graying docter, eyeglasses shoved down onto the tip of his nose, shuffled a few papers and shook his head. "I don't know. We don't know, yet. I'm afraid all we can do is wait. But their chances look pretty fair."  
  
"For how long?" Karen spoke up, tense but polite. "How long do we have to wait like this?"  
  
"That's due, in part, to your sons. A large part; they themselves decide when to join us."  
  
Dan shook his head. "This is all stupid and ridiculous. I sent Nathan on a school trip, a, a campout in the woods and he comes back like a cardboard cut-out. Yes, it looks like Nathan, but he isn't there, he can't see me, he can't talk-but oh, it's alright! He might be able to hear me!"  
  
Karen turned and hurried into the cool hallway. She ran a couple of yards to the room her son was in, but a nurse was busy with the IV; unable to watch Lucas lying there so helpless and still, she slipped outdoors and dropped onto a curbstone.  
  
People hurried by; kids in Scooby Doo shirts and staff with name cards looped around their necks. None of them payed any attention to her. After all, this was a hospital. People were supposed to look sad and tired and scared. Unless...she almost smiled, you were having a baby. "Then you'd only be scared and tired."  
  
She hadn't realized she'd spoken the words aloud until a quiet voice said," I remember."  
  
It wasn't Dan; the erratic beating of her heart slowed down. Keith; gently smiling, arms outstretched, as near a father as Lucas had ever known.  
  
"How's Haley?"  
  
"Her mom's still with her." Keith sighed, lowering himself beside Karen."She's going to be okay,though. Lucky kid. Broken finger. A couple of cuts, some good sized bruises. She's a fighter." He hesitated. "So is Lucas."  
  
"Is he?"  
  
Keith took her by the shoulders. "What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"He's changed, Keith. He's changed so much. Sometimes I don't think I really know him anymore. He hides so much from me. I know it's just that he doesn't want me to be hurt, but I feel like I don't even know what makes him happy anymore. What makes him cry, what gives him that funny little smile I see when he comes home some nights."  
  
"He's grown, Karen. Of course he's changed. Lucas is turning into the man he's going to be one day. And it's only natural that he tries to protect you. A serious, responsible son is going to feel protective towards his mother. He'll feel the need to be stong for you, to be the man, yet he'll still want all the encouragement and advice a kid of that age has to have."  
  
"Men." Karen cupped Keith's hand in hers. "They grow up to be such complicated creatures."[]  
  
Peyton slammed her sketchbook shut and tossed it to the foot of the bed. The colorless curtains were drawn open, but her view was limited to the sky and a couple of tree tips. Not an overly stimulating atmosphere. "A room with a view."  
  
She discarded her empty water glass and sighed.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Oh-hey."  
  
"I'm Karen, Lucas's mom?"  
  
"Ya, I know who you are."  
  
"I just wondered how you were doing." Karen glanced around. "These hospital rooms can get monotonous."  
  
Peyton folded the top of her sheet into tiny folds. "How are they doing?"  
  
Karen wandered towards the window and stared out, unseeing. "The docters say they're still in some gray area, like a coma. They don't think it's very dangerous, though. Something about pressure and shock, I don't know. But I can't help worrying..."  
  
Peyton bit her lip. "Why did you come up to see me?"  
  
Karen turned, her voice regaining it's confidence."Because you're Lucas's friend. And because I know he would be here if he wasn't downstairs. Because he would expect me to, and because I wanted to." She smiled, smoothing rumpled blankets and retrieving the emptied glass. "Let me see to this. Heaven knows the staff is busy enough, what with all these new arrivals." She hesitated in the doorway, Peyton secretly admiring her steadiness and honest simplicity. "Can I get you anything? Something to read?"  
  
Peyton shook her head 'no', then hesitated. "Maybe some more sketching paper?"[]  
  
Haley was allowed to move about in her wheelchair freely; the docter's were just holding her, 'under observation,' and she'd be free to go home tomorrow.  
  
It never failed to amaze her how so much could go wrong in only a few seconds time. The camping trip had been such fun; the next morning, it was a Saturday, they'd packed their bags and started back down to the drop off point where the buses would be waiting to take them home. Ony it hadn't been quite that simple. One of the two buses ("naturally, ours," Haley thought), had skidded on some gravel going downhill and lost control. Or, the driver lost control. Anyways, it was one big collision and a nice flop on the side, and here she was!  
  
Haley had actually been stowing her gear when the bus skidded; she'd grabbed a seatback, but lost hold. It was Lucas who jumped up and wrapped himself around her; she still remembered the feel of his arms, how she'd known it would be okay, because Lucas was there and he was taking care of her and...this hospital cheese sandwich was terrible. It tasted like cat food. And if Haley said it tasted like catfood, then it did, because she would know.[]  
  
Peyton tried to forget the sound of the accident; it seemed to haunt her when the veil between sleep and waking started to part. Lucas's scream of "Haley!," was the first instant she had known something was wrong. Then, Nathan's quick, highstrung, "It's okay, Peyton!"  
  
Lots of other people yelling and screaming. Glass shattering. The driver cursing, then suddenly quiet. Nathan, shoved against the side, everything on top of him; nothing was the same, the bus had shape shifted and Peyton panicked. She drug herself from under Nathan's outflung arm and stumbled towards the front of the bus. She had to see what was happening; it was dark, the windows, or what was left of them, were under her feet. It felt strange, stepping on broken glass. Lucas blocked the way, he was draped over one of the seats. Peyton screamed and climbed over him, but there were people everywhere and the few who were conscious madly shoving and fighting for the doors. Peyton saw Brooke; she was trapped under someone, and getting trampled under the mad rush for safety. Tim appeared, eyes wild, but Peyton caught him by the sleeve and they untangled her. By then, teachers from the other bus were there, shouting advice, giving instructions. Coach Whitey started snapping orders to some of the basketball players. By the time Peyton was lifted out, the ambulances had arrived. Her feet were sliced from glass shards, and she'd dislocated her shoulder. Funny, it hadn't hurt at the time. Seeing the EMS carrying Lucas, then Nathan, five or six of the others out on stretchers...that had been the worst moments of her life. Haley, holding a cold patch to the mass of purple on one side of her face, had rode with her to the hospital. Both of them were still in shock. By then, fear for the Scotts had overwhelmed any physical discomfort. Maybe by tomorrow they'd be back to normal and.....maybe those sleeping pills were working after all.[] 


	6. You came to my defense

Chapter.6  
  
"Hey, son. How are you feeling?"  
  
The blond haired young man's forehead creased; he shifted long limbs restlessly. Seconds later, with a sharp intake of breath, blue eyes blinked dazedly into the muted daylight.  
  
"Do you want anything? Glass of water?"  
  
Lucas turned his head and made out a hazy form in the adjoining bed. Bed. It felt good not to move.  
  
"Son?"  
  
It took an effort to rouse himself, but Lucas eventually squinted into the sunshine striped room.  
  
He shook his head. Narrow blinds hung at all the windows, giving the place an unfamiliar feel. Undecorated off-white walls. A mattress too smooth to be comfortable.  
  
"Uncle Keith?"  
  
Clothing rustled as someone turned. Luke pushed himself up on one arm and fought to clear his mind.  
  
"I'll get that right away, son." Dan Scott threw Lucas a pointed look, one hand on Nathan's arm, before disappearing through the doorway.  
  
Nathan Scott, a bandage wrapped one cheek, was propped up on mounds of pillows. Luke avoided his gaze, taking in the wild profusion of scents and colors that crowded every corner of the double room. There were flowers everywhere.  
  
Nathan must have noticed his surprise; he reached over and plucked a card from the white roses between them.  
  
"To Nathan, with love and support." Lucas watched in confusion as the dark haired Scott crumpled it in his fist and threw it against the wall.  
  
He plucked another, sarcastically read, "Nathan, best wishes, the Guys."  
  
Luke ignored him, silently wondering if any of the arrangements were addressed to him. It would be too embarrassing, searching through them, with his half brother there. However...a bunch of perky yellow blossoms caught his eye. There was a little figure of a dog on top, bouncing crazily on it's metal spring. A laugh escaped him. The canine was an awful assortment of white with blue spots. A helium balloon, the letters reading "super-boy." Lucas unfolded the tiny cream note."Thanks for being my hero. Please get better soon. There's no one else really sane to talk to around here. Love, Haley."  
  
He turned to see his roommate regarding him intently.  
  
"Who sent the color challenged dog?" Nathan was picking at a blanket, obviously more interested then his too casual tone let on.  
  
"My best friend." Lucas pulled himself into a sitting position and brushed at the tight wrapping around his chest.  
  
"I heard them talking about you. You have a cracked rib and some sort of internal thing they're watching."  
  
Luke, feeling slightly frightened at what he might discover, gingerly moved his arms and legs. He stopped. Ah. That was something.  
  
"Young man, please lie down."  
  
His first impression of Nurse Hadley was a tall, strong looking woman with skin that seemed too tight stretched over an angular, sharp-eyed countenance.  
  
"Where's my mom? Is she here?"  
  
"Lie down before I call one of the doctors. The only reason I wasn't in here sooner, we're swamped. Everyone's dead on their feet, working extra shifts, no sleep, thanks to that driver of yours. And, no, your mother's resting. Poor woman."  
  
Nurse Hadley, briskly jamming something into his mouth, inserting an iv tube with enough force to bring tears to his eyes.  
  
Nathan coughed as she swept out, leaving Lucas rubbing his wrist and more confused then ever.  
  
"What a treasure, that woman."  
  
Luke faced him. "What's wrong with you?"  
  
"Not much. Stitched up my jaw. Took a few hits in the old head; I hear we both did. My arm's fractured, though." Luke saw the shadow in his eyes. "I hope it doesn't keep me off the court too long...."  
  
They were being painfully polite to each other; but the sidelong glances and stilted conversation made Lucas feel uncomfortable. He wished Karen, or his Uncle Keith would come along and explain things to him.  
  
He fixed his eyes on the iv. "How is everyone?"  
  
It had been there, in the back of his mind, ever since recalling the disjointed, almost instantaneous events of the accident. He had just been too afraid to ask.  
  
"Stony's dead. He drove himself right into a grave."  
  
Luke nodded. "I remember...thinking that he wouldn't make it. There wasn't a chance-"  
  
"In hell." Nathan frowned.  
  
"Haley. The girl-"  
  
"I know." He interrupted Lucas shortly. "She's OK. Bruised up, minor stuff." Nathan observed his brother's relieved reaction, spoke coolly.  
  
"Peyton's all cut up. She can't walk."  
  
Lucas threw him a quick look. "Is she here?"  
  
"I guess so. I haven't exactly been paying calls lately."  
  
A gentle tap on the door. Lucas, heeding Nurse Henley's warning, craned his neck to see who it was.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Haley!"  
  
She rolled her squeaky wheelchair into the room, maneuvering between the two beds.  
  
"You alright?"  
  
Lucas nodded, an embarrassing moisture in his eyes. He took her hand, realizing, perhaps for the first time, how very fragile looking it was.  
  
"I'm okay, you big hero." She stared at him intently; Lucas loved the way her forehead got that funny little wrinkle when she concentrated.  
  
"You know, I probably owe you my life."  
  
Lucas caught her other hand, the one swathed in gauze, and smiled at her.  
  
Haley shook her head. "Remember, when we were just kids. Every time I hurt myself, if I started to cry, you would always kiss the spot and look at me with those big blue eyes and ask me solemnly, 'is it all better?' "  
  
He laughed, self consciously, then bent impulsively and pressed a quick kiss to her fingers.  
  
She hesitated, shy, then pulled away.  
  
Lucas, not sure of what was happening between them, assumed a serious air. "And is it all better?"  
  
"You know..." Haley laughed, herself once more, "I think I'd better get back to you on that."  
  
The door swung open again, but this time it was Dan Scott, arms full of sports magazines. He paused in mid-stride, taking in the smile on Lucas's face, the pretty girl beside him. Nathan was silent, a brooding, sullen air about him Dan didn't understand.  
  
"Do you mind? My son needs his rest. Nathan, are you okay?" Dan smiled coldly at Haley, stepping around her with his packages.  
  
"Well, I'm talking to your other son."  
  
Lucas felt Dan's angry gaze, nodded at her. "It's probably time you were getting back, Hales. You should be taking it easy."  
  
The brunette pursed her lips, then slowly nodded. "You be careful. Your mom fell asleep, but I'm sure she'll be in here any time. Keith is at the shop, he finally left you in the doctor's hands and took his pacing elsewhere. I called him as soon as I heard you were awake. He's under a car right now, but as soon as he can clean up, he'll be over."  
  
"Thanks." Lucas watched her spin the chair around, narrowly missing Dan. His father jumped out of the way, knocking over a flower display and scattering the magazines.  
  
"Sorry about that. Not really used to steering this thing when large objects cross my path..."  
  
Lucas caught the rest of her sentence as she wheeled through the doorway, pausing long enough to throw him a reassuring smile.  
  
The room was too quiet. He closed his eyes, feeling out of place and drifting...[]  
  
Dan Scott, arranging Nathan's pillows. He paused, wondering, eyes tracing Lucas's still features....really looking...for the first time in years..there was a child like quality about him that caused buried memories to surface...little boy, smaller then Nathan, even though he was the older of the two...blond hair, longer, curving around that solemn, blue eyed face...if one looked enough, the wistfulness was still there, all of it...carefully hidden under a mask of indifference...  
  
Nathan shifted restlessly. "Dad-"  
  
Lucas stirred, blinked sleepily up at him...  
  
The moment was broken.  
  
"Yes, son?"  
  
[] 


	7. Confrontations

Chapter .7  
  
"Okay, honey. Are you sure you'll be alright? I guess we can stand to lose another day at the cafe.. "  
  
"Mom." The slender young man cast her an affectionate, chiding glance. "It's a hospital. I'll be safe."  
  
"I'm worried about you because you are in a hospital." Karen shook her head, took his face in her hands. "Are you sure?"  
  
"I can handle him."  
  
"I know, but I feel like I'm running out on you. Nathan will be here, and Dan, and I don't want you to have to face all this alone."  
  
"Well, I've been in a room with Nathan for two days now-"  
  
"And over half of that time was spent unconscious or asleep. What?"  
  
Haley frowned, concentrated on each in turn, then shrugged. "I'm just saying..."  
  
Karen crossed her arms suggestively. "Haley...shouldn't you be sitting down somewhere?"  
  
"Right." The brunette pointed down the hall. "On my way."  
  
She'd almost reached the elevator when...  
  
"Hey." Lucas caught up to her, out of breath. Haley reached out, halted his skid.  
  
"Advice from someone who found out the hard way: these things don't stop when you want them to."  
  
He glanced down at the wheelchair and laughed. "Exactly when did you learn that?"  
  
"You don't want to know. Besides, he's okay. I really didn't hit him that hard." She blew into her styrofoam cup, grimaced. "Did you notice anything weird in the cappuccinos?"  
  
"Yes." Lucas tapped his chin. There was this very, very subtle hint of coffee. Now that you mention it."  
  
"Oh, you."  
  
"Wait." He caught her arm; Haley turned around, careful not to shake off his hold.  
  
"Yes?" It was so hard. So hard. She never knew what was going on when Lucas acted like this, looked at her the way he was looking now. If she reacted like a friend, he would treat her as one. But if she showed how she felt, then her cards would be on the table, and if he didn't mean anything by it...their friendship might be lost forever.  
  
This was the one area of her life where Haley Jones was cautious, uncertain.  
  
"Are you going to be alright?"  
  
She wrinkled her nose. "I'm fine."  
  
Lucas opened his mouth, then hesitated. "Okay. Okay."  
  
He nodded at her, smiled. "Take it easy."  
  
Haley watched him wheel around the corner. The cappuccino tasted bitter. She threw it into a trash bin, curling her fingers inside her sleeves, wrapping them around herself, blinking back repressed tears.  
  
"I'm so stupid. Haley Jones, if this was it, you've lost him."  
  
The elevator doors began to slide shut; she watched the deserted hallway until cold metal shut out her view. Physically and emotionally, down to the bottom.  
  
"But how can you lose something you've never had?"[]  
  
Lucas stole a glance at his two companions. The solarium was practically deserted. He'd moved into the farthest corner before Dan came; easier, avoiding the awkwardness .Or outright hostility. It was hard, not having his mom there with him; it was bearable, however, because he knew she would've come, Dan or no Dan. They just could't afford to lose another day of business.  
  
Nathan flipped through the thousandth issue of "Basket Ball"; his dad had been annoying the heck out of all the doctors. Dan was constantly demanding better care, medical time-frames, hassling, threatening. The bastard was in the same room with him; 'sorry, we're up to are ears and then some. Medical conditions: similar. Blood type: similar. DNA: similar. Names: similar. What is all this about?'  
  
Basically, they hadn't heard his complaints. Or ignored them.  
  
The sunshine filtered in through smudged glass, easing the ache in Lucas's chest. He tried to relax, fidgeted. The book he'd been reading was next to his bed, up in number 42.  
  
"You know, you don't even look like me."  
  
Lucas slowly raised his head, eyes widening. Dan laughed in a way that made him seem younger. Like all the petulant comments flung at Lucas by his team mates; self assured, snotty, downright narrow minded.  
  
Nathan looked up, his interest in the landscape renewed.  
  
"Now, Nathan here, he looks just like me."  
  
Lucas raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I can tell what you're thinking. All those petty little stories Karen told you, trying to turn you against me."  
  
"She didn't need to. I made that decision on my own."  
  
Nathan laughed. "Watch it, Dad, I think he's going to cry."  
  
"No, son. He's too much of a man for that. He'll take all his troubles home to mom."  
  
Lucas looked away, his jaw tight. Glad Karen hadn't come. "You know, I'm not scared of you. I've never been scared of you. And I don't hate you. Not anymore."  
  
Dan stood up; he sauntered over toward Lucas and smirked. "What else you have to tell me?"  
  
"Nothing." Lucas faced him, eyes narrowed, calm. "I don't know you. And you know nothing about me. We don't have much to talk about."  
  
"But that's where you're wrong. We have a lot to talk about."  
  
"And that being?"  
  
"You're on my son's team."  
  
If he meant that as a barb, it didn't hit home.  
  
"Something that's not going to change."  
  
"Oh, but it is. You see, I'm pretty used to getting my way in this town."  
  
"Well then maybe it's time someone said no."  
  
"You little-"  
  
Lucas stared quietly up at him, "bastard?" he offered. "Don't shock me."  
  
"See how it is with him?" Nathan shrugged. "I told you, Dad."  
  
"Let me tell you something." Dan leaned over Lucas, hands gripping the wheelchair. "No one, least of all Karen's kid, is going to get in my way. In Nathan's way. We've worked for this our whole life. Worked **** hard. And some kid from downtown isn't going to change all that. So, Whitie's backing you. Whitie doesn't give a crap about you. He's only using you to get back at me. No one in this town cares about some poor, fatherless little orphan whose daddy doesn't love him."  
  
Lucas, forced back, stared past him.  
  
Nathan pushed his chair over and reached out with his good arm. "Dad-"  
  
"Shut up! You didn't accomplish anything."  
  
Dan's miniature froze. His face hardened, and he nodded tightly. "Yeah. So that's the way it is. You go ahead. Fix everything. Make it all better. So Lucas leaves the team. So I get my old position back. So Peyton and I spend one date without yelling at each other. So mom comes back and gives a ****. You'll never change. Maybe I don't want what you never had. "  
  
Slowly, Dan straightened. He took a step forward, then paused. "So that's the way you feel about things?"  
  
Nathan hesitated, eyes downcast. "Dad-"  
  
"No, no. Was it another joke? Tell me, Nathan, was it this time?"  
  
"If you would only stop pushing, maybe-"  
  
"Maybe I'd let you go dancing to your grave. Your miserable future, your failure. Something I could be proud of. My son, Tree Hill's biggest loser."  
  
Nathan had lost all of his arrogant carelessness. It bothered Lucas, somehow, to see that both of them were Dan's victims...  
  
"You push everyone away."  
  
"What?" Dan shifted his focus angrily.  
  
"Everyone. Anybody that cared about you...mom. Nathan. Your wife. Your world is so full of hate you can't see the way you treat the people you claim to love."  
  
"And you?"  
  
"I don't count. I never knew my dad."  
  
"And if you had?"  
  
Lucas moved away, headed for the door. He was angry, but more sad. Not because his father acted like he didn't give a darn about him. He expected that. Sad, because it seemed that all the people around Dan were messed up, in some way or another. One person's hatred and selfishness could toss so many lives aside.  
  
"Don't run away from me."  
  
Lucas felt his chair whip around. The sun glinted off the windows. Nathan was silent, weakened under his father's scorn. Lucas saw tears shining; felt his own throat tighten.  
  
Dan slammed his wheelchair against the wall. Lucas saw all the guilt and selfish pride reflected in the man's eyes. He stared up, into the wrath, the anger.  
  
Dan saw Lucas's lips move, but the blinding rage that gripped him blotted out all sound, save the harsh rasp of his breathing. He lent forward, heart pounding, one hand clenched the front of Lucas's gown.  
  
Lucas didn't resist. He sat, still, eye to eye with the man he had avoided for so many years. Looked into him. Recognized the fear he'd carried all his life: the fear of becoming this man. And knew that it could never happen. He saw Dan for what he was; he looked into his own heart. He'd faced his fear and conquered it.  
  
"Dad-" it was Nathan, his voice broke through the deep fog that shrouded Lucas's mind.  
  
"Get your hands off him! Get away from him!"  
  
As if in a dream, Lucas saw Keith approach, wearing a look he had never before seen on the mild features.  
  
Dan fell back, as suddenly as if he'd been struck by a train. The sunshine faded, then broke into view; Lucas felt arms encircling him. The fierce beating of Keith's heart, close to his. Heard a waver in the always-sure tones-,"Lucas?"  
  
His father stood, a large, unsettled shadow. He clenched his fists. "What do you think you're doing? I-"  
  
"Save it. Little brother, I don't want to see you near Lucas again. Is that clear? Because, if I do.. so help me God, I won't be held accountable." Keith turned his attention to Nathan.  
  
"That goes for you, too."  
  
Someone touched his shoulder. "Lucas?"  
  
"I'm okay." His chest ached under the tight tape, but his vision had cleared and the warmth of the arms around him was as healing as any medicine.  
  
Keith eased his hold, frowned. "Sorry."  
  
"No." Lucas shook his head. "I'm alright."  
  
Keith took a deep breath. "Then let's get you upstairs."  
  
Pass Nathan, silent, that hurt look still lingering; Dan, head held high, mouth a grim line. Lucas resisted the urge to stare back; instead, he relaxed, let his uncle guide him into the elevator; help him into bed.  
  
And watch him as he slept......[]  
  
Voice over:  
  
You have to look beyond a name. Because the truth can be standing right beside you. And people aren't tied by blood alone...I realized one day..I had more of a father's love than those who had one...[] 


	8. On Again off Again

Chapter.8 (music: Love is Here: Starsailor)  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Hi, Lucas."  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
"Hi, Scott."  
  
Lucas could barely make it to the sidewalk. Karen, a knowing smile on her pretty face, nodded at him.  
  
"Don't worry, mom."  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Things change so quickly. Nobody. Hero. Nobody. Hero today..."  
  
"Look on the bright side. Enjoy it while you can. Today you're a hero."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Do me a favor?"  
  
Lucas paused, hand on the door.  
  
"Stay off this heroics stuff for a while."  
  
"I will. Love you.."  
  
She watched him walk away, one of the basket ball players took his books, hugged him. Gently.  
  
It was a good day.[]  
  
The autumn sky was blue, bluer than a painting. A cool nip in the air made the students slightly hyper, giddy. New fall fashions, colors, styles, trends. There was an excitement in the halls. Everybody was finally getting back to normal. And normal could be such a wonderful thing.  
  
"How's it going?"  
  
Lucas murmured a response, slightly embarrassed at all the attention. He wondered if people would care as much ..if he wasn't on the varsity. The thought made him sober, but he couldn't stay solemn for too long. It felt good, he'd missed the school, his scarred desk, the silly clusters of giggling females, and...Peyton. She was absent during the morning period...Lucas hadn't seen her since the accident. And Hales..  
  
"Good to have you back."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Jake swung Lucas's bag onto the desk and shook his head. "How do you feel now?"  
  
"A little freaked out."  
  
"Don't be. This popularity thing is a fickle at best. Live the moment."  
  
Lucas smiled. "It's great to be back."  
  
"Lucas, Jake, if it's not too much to ask, could you kindly take your seats and join the class?"  
  
Jake shook his head. "Isn't it, though?"[]  
  
Basketball practice was lame at best. Lucas, chin in hand, sat on top of the bleachers. He'd wrapped his shirt about his waist, discarded the heavy book bag and relaxed. Coach Whitey yelled at a particularly sloppy maneuver, glanced up at Lucas and shook his head.  
  
"How much longer you going to sit it out, Scott?"  
  
Lucas shrugged. "I don't know..."  
  
"Well, don't hurry back on my account."  
  
Lucas laughed at the coach's dry, sarcastic tone.  
  
"How's Nathan?"  
  
"Doing good, last time I heard."  
  
"Probably at home with Dan, receiving a truckload of free therapy." He nodded. "Be careful, take it easy. We'll make it. Eventually."  
  
Lucas, concentrating on the ball, barely noticed someone sit down beside him.  
  
"Hey, Teeshirt boy."  
  
"Oh-hi." He took in Brooke's arch look, the way she flipped her hair so it brushed against his face.  
  
"I have a message for you." She cocked her head, smiled.  
  
"And who is this message from?"  
  
"A girl."  
  
Lucas followed the game.  
  
"Don't you want to know who it's from?"  
  
"I figured you'd tell me when you were ready."  
  
Brooke hit is arm. "Oh, you guys."  
  
She leaned against him; Lucas moved back, smiled. "Didn't you have something to tell me?"  
  
"Yes." She frowned petulantly. "In the hall."  
  
He climbed down, careful. Brooke lowered his bag, hopped after him. "Here. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"  
  
Lucas nodded. "Thanks. See you."  
  
(music: Belief: Gavin DeGraw)  
  
The hallway was deserted. He hefted his bag, checked the time. Karen wouldn't be stopping by for another fifteen minutes.  
  
Lucas sank onto a bench just outside the gym, feeling slightly tired. Even without basket ball practice, the day had seemed long.  
  
Thought...rested his head against the cold wall...  
  
Thought...remembered..felt...  
  
Someone slipped down beside him.  
  
"Lucas?"  
  
"Hales!" He straightened abruptly, the smile dying. "What's wrong? What happened?"  
  
"Nothing much." The dark haired girl lowered her gaze, caught his hand.  
  
He waited, patiently, until she cleared her throat and began.  
  
"I just wanted to talk to you. I-"  
  
"Hales-" he took her by the shoulders and forced her to meet his eyes."You can tell me. I'm your best friend, right? What's going on?"  
  
She pulled away, forehead wrinkling in confusion.  
  
"Something sort of happened."  
  
Lucas rubbed a hand across his face, forced himself to sit still.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I don't want you getting all excited..."  
  
"That's exactly what's going to happen if you don't tell me what's wrong, Haley James!"  
  
"Well..." she pursed her lips, a habit she'd been doing ever since he could remember."I was tutoring today..."  
  
"And?"  
  
"I had a little bit of trouble with this one guy."  
  
Lucas started to rise, but she touched his arm. "No, Lucas, please sit down and listen to me."  
  
"Okay." He took a deep breath, leveled her with his gaze. "Tell me."  
  
"This guy, I don't think he was too interested in my help. He kept trying to get close, to take my hand. Then he grabbed me and tried to kiss me..."  
  
"And what did you do?" The question sounded lame, even in his own ears. But Haley James wasn't your typical girl.  
  
"I hit him. He just laughed at me and tried again. So I picked up my algebra and threw it in his face."  
  
Lucas saw the vivid image flash before his eyes, unconsciously felt a stir of laughter. "Haley-"  
  
"I think I hit him rather hard. " She ventured a smile. "He didn't follow me."  
  
Lucas, attempting to relieve the situation, shook his head."You probably flattened him."  
  
"I hope so."  
  
"Walk out with me?" He put his arm around her.  
  
"That's the idea. As far as a half crippled ex-basket ball player can offer a girl protection." She noticed him wince, pulled his bag away from him. "Oh, man." []  
  
Lucas had kept the conversation light, but he was determined to get the guy's name from Haley and take matters into his own hands.  
  
"You should report him," he urged her.  
  
"I will, as soon as I get home. Or-"she frowned. I'm supposed to help your mom out tonight. I can call from there."  
  
"Good. That way I'll be able to keep an eye on you."  
  
"Hey. Don't get too-"  
  
"What?"  
  
Her face crinkled in concentration. "Listen, I did take care of that guy on my own. I'm not a fragile, high voiced, pink type of girl. Got that?"  
  
He stopped on the sidewalk, a smile touching his lips .  
  
"What?"  
  
"Haley, I've never described you as pink, verbally or otherwise."  
  
"That has nothing to do with it."  
  
"I worry about you."  
  
She tugged at his hand, pulling him toward Karen's car. "Well, you shouldn't."  
  
He shook his head as she hopped into the vehicle, heard his mom asking how his day had gone- then Haley's exuberant,  
  
"I kicked some butt!"[]  
  
Lucas found himself wishing that he had been there, stepped up, been the one to take that jerk down...  
  
Amazed himself to realize it was more for his own sake then Haley's.  
  
Like words to a song, they swam over and over again in his mind...Haley... James...  
  
"What's with that face?"  
  
Karen smiling, jerked him back to reality. He caught Haley's gaze upon him, puzzled at it's intensity...but when he looked back, she'd turned casually and began chattering to his mom about school.  
  
He was being foolish. Haley James? He was her best friend. That's it. Period.  
  
Then why that lost, empty feeling? She sat beside him, yet was unreachable.  
  
Afraid to face her laughter, to bare his soul. Uncertain what it all meant....yet.[]  
  
The night slipped by, and answers seemed as far away as ever...  
  
He relived the scene in the hospital room , where Haley had neatly taken Dan down, right in front of him...for him...  
  
Again and again...  
  
Why must life be so complicated. The day's happiness had vanished.  
  
Awake, in the moonlight. Tossing atop wrinkled sheets. Words...  
  
When you came to my defense  
  
With a knife in the shape of your mouth  
  
In the form of your body  
  
With the wrath of a God  
  
Oh you stood by me........[]  
  
(Belief-Gavin DeGraw) 


	9. Trapped and Confused

Chapter.9  
  
"Luke, you're still not up!"  
  
Half awake, limbs tangled in the covers. The glow of sleep still lingering. He threw a pillow and flopped back down.  
  
"You see this?"  
  
Considering his eyes were closed, it must've looked highly doubtful.  
  
"Half past five! In the morning! Time to go!" She waved her watch-clad wrist in front of him.  
  
"Hales..."  
  
"Lucas-"  
  
He rolled over, squinted into sudden light from the open doorway.  
  
"It's almost time to leave."  
  
"If you would be so kind to remove this-this-," he dropped his pillow and shrugged hopelessly.  
  
"On time, mature, able to appreciate a sunrise, competent young woman who is, I might add, currently trying to remove one lazy, spoiled, basket ball ex-hero who is sitting on his bed in a room that looks like it was in the middle of a war-zone."  
  
Lucas stared up at her and made a face. "Oh. Really."  
  
"Alright, you two. Lucas, out of bed. Haley, you can help me in the kitchen. I haven't finished packing all of the food yet."  
  
The door shut, noisily. Lucas sighed and began to change. He pulled on some thick socks and stood up, stretching. He went to the window and pushed it open.  
  
Cool, moisture laden wind whipped about his face, catching his clothes and fluttering the curtains. Stars winked in the inky darkness; the tip of a tree rose into the night, a darker silhouette against the sky line.  
  
Clean. The world was pure in the early predawn...it had been washed throughout the night. The earth and sky, wet with dew. People's minds, wiped clear and rested. Hearts at peace...and soon the sun would come up and dry it.  
  
"Luke?"  
  
He started, felt like Haley was able to read his mind. Normally, he was a very candid person...especially for a guy. But times like these were private.  
  
Slowly, methodically he made the bed, straightened a few homework papers.  
  
"Lucas!"  
  
He opened the door so abruptly that Haley nearly fell into his arms. He caught her, smiling. "Yes?"  
  
"Oh, you!"  
  
She pulled away, brushing at her shirt.  
  
"Still doing that Haley?" Karen paused outside, trying not to laugh.  
  
" I wasn't eavesdropping, I just tripped on the carpet."  
  
Lucas stepped forward, took the laundry basket from his mother. "Hey."  
  
"Hey to you." She turned her face as he bent to kiss her on the cheek. "Sleep well?"  
  
"Up until a certain point."  
  
"Well, you have to get an early start if you want to beat the crowds. And remember what I told you."  
  
Haley saw him frown. "I'll try."  
  
"And that's all I ask. Heaven knows, I certainly haven't done that well."[]  
  
"The place is already crawling with individuals who got themselves out of bed this morning." Haley looked sideways at him.  
  
"Okay. I admit, I was sleepy, but I didn't take more then ten minutes to get ready."  
  
"So?" She shrugged. " What's to get ready? We'll have to move fast."  
  
"Or spend eternity chipping away."  
  
"Um-that's your forte." Haley grabbed the knapsack with their lunches and spare clothes as they passed a row of pick axes and smaller tools. Lucas hefted a medium sized axe and nodded.  
  
"You ready for this?"  
  
He sighed. "Might as well."  
  
"You sure you know how to use that thing?"  
  
Lucas raised an eyebrow, glanced at her, at the blade, back at Haley again.  
  
"Lucas Scott!" She took off at a run, braids bouncing as she skipped nimbly over some rocks into the mouth of the cave.[]  
  
The cave wasn't that large; years before, a small landslide had completely blocked off most of it. The small, twisting space left accessible was a favorite for teachers and history buffs alike. Every year, Tree Hill's science students trekked into the local tourist attraction and collected interesting specimens; the most unique find earned a hundred dollar cash prize. Of course, everyone always donated it to one of the school programs; still, it was better than sitting in class.  
  
Stepping into the cave was like entering another world. When Lucas first visited the site, he'd thought, ecstatically, he'd been transported into a scene from Star Wars. It still held that unearthly quality to him. Looked for Haley, midst the shadowy figures, dozen flashlight rays bouncing off the walls. He couldn't find her, but decided she'd show up sooner or later-unless she planned on prying out a specimen with her fingernails.  
  
But then, again, speaking from experience.....most girls probably could.  
  
"Excuse me...excuse us..."  
  
Lucas stepped back as a fresh group of students shouldered their way past. A flashlight beam caught him in the face, and one of the figures halted.  
  
"Well, well, if it isn't the-"  
  
"Nathan, shut up already."  
  
Lucas blinked, tried to duck out of the glare. A light clicked off, they moved into the shadows.  
  
"Are you really busy over there? Because a flashlight just doesn't cut it."  
  
"Haley."  
  
"You look upset." She stepped back, hands clasped behind her in a sympathetic pose. "Something I can help you with?"  
  
"Ah-no." Lucas shook his head, smiled brightly.  
  
"Well, I get the feeling-" she pulled him deeper in to the cave, "that a certain loser is wandering these hallowed walls."  
  
He heard a muffled thud, then Haley's extra cheery tones.  
  
"So sorry about that. Yah. I didn't see you there. Things get all turned around in this place. You know-"  
  
Lucas strained to see into the gloom, but Haley had disappeared.  
  
"Haley?" he cleared his throat, called again. "Hales?"  
  
"Hi, man."  
  
"Hi. You seen Haley James around?"  
  
The basket ball player frowned. "No, not since I came in."  
  
"Okay, thanks." Lucas sighed. "I knew I should've been the one with the flashlight."  
  
"What, did you lose your girlfriend?"  
  
Peyton's voice.  
  
"Hales. Haley. She's been my best friend ever since I can remember."  
  
"Oh. That sort of friend."  
  
"Is something wrong? Because you aren't acting ...."  
  
"Sorry I've disappointed you. But I think I came with another Scott."  
  
Lucas heard her move away, closed his eyes. If fate was really against him today, Brooke should arrive right about now.  
  
A jutting outcrop of rock made a perfect seat. He sank down and waited.  
  
"Did you hear that?"  
  
"What is that noise?"  
  
"Does somebody know what's going on?"  
  
A faint shudder. Lucas's eyes widened and he peered into the dim cavern, listening. There it was again...a muffled, rumbling sound.  
  
"Sounds like an avalanche!" one guy joked, to his obviously scared companion.  
  
"That's not funny. I'm getting out of here."  
  
Lucas strained to make out further disturbances, but the students were too loud. About half ran for the entrance, echoed by jeers and cat calls.  
  
"Maybe it is a landslide..."  
  
Tim.  
  
Lucas dropped his axe and darted through the scattered groups. Haley had to be around here somewhere...  
  
Another shudder. This one large enough to dislodge bits of earth and rock fragments. Lucas fought the urge to run for the small patch of light behind him. Haley was still inside somewhere.  
  
"Hey. Have you seen Nathan?"  
  
Peyton's face was pale. A smudge of dirt on her cheek only added to the tight, panicky look.  
  
"I haven't seen him." Lucas had to raise his voice to be heard above the racket.  
  
"We have to get out of here!"  
  
"Not without Haley." He took her by the elbow and pushed his way toward the entrance. Wild eyed students were screaming, fighting for the narrow opening. The result was pandemonium.  
  
"Get out!" He pushed her as close to the exit as he could, then ran for the back of the cave, retrieving a discarded flashlight off the floor.  
  
"Haley? Haley!"  
  
A narrow tunnel branched off behind the main cave wall. Lucas circled the area that had been blocked off many years ago. It began to slant downhill, becoming tinier as he went. He slipped on the damp stone, caught himself. Called Haley's name.  
  
The walls shook again. The flashlight spun out of Lucas's hand and hit some rocks. He dropped on his hands and knees, felt for it. His fingers brushed it-or, a piece of it.  
  
"Lucas?"  
  
Peyton-he sensed, rather than saw her.  
  
"What are you doing down here?"  
  
"Go back!"  
  
He hadn't realized he was screaming at her.  
  
"The guys said they saw Nathan come this way."  
  
"I have to find Haley!"  
  
Peyton fell against him, clinging until the shudder past.  
  
"Lucas-"  
  
"You have to go outside, Peyton!"  
  
"Haley was with him!"  
  
Her desperate yell swung him around.  
  
"This way? They came this way?," he demanded.  
  
"Yes. Nathan came this way."  
  
A tear rolled down her face, clearing a path through the dusty grime.  
  
"It's going to be okay." He braced his back against the cave, pulled her against him. The trembling was the worst yet. Lucas stared up into the dark, felt the roar approaching. Gathering speed. The shock drove them forward, up against a shallow ledge. They huddled beneath it, coughing. Waiting...expecting the stone to come crashing down at any moment, sealing them in an early grave.[]  
  
"Haley-I'm sure everybody got out."  
  
"No. No, you don't understand. Lucas wouldn't leave until he found me. He-"  
  
"Whoa. Whoa there."  
  
Nathan found her hands, drew them both into his. "He'd get out. I know Peyton and the guys would have. They're safe. It's just you and I that we have to worry about.."  
  
"I don't care, Lucas wouldn't leave me." She ran a dirt stained hand across her face, leaving a large smudge on her nose.  
  
"Take it easy. It's the two of us."  
  
Haley sniffed. "Where are we?"  
  
"In some kind of cavern..."  
  
"It's the baby grand."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Baby grand." She sighed. "The cave has a little cavern on the side, at the end of the tunnel made when the main part collapsed. Basically, it's just a bit of the main cave that wasn't walled off."  
  
"Lucky we found it." He shone his flashlight around, through the patterns of swirling dust. "Is there a way out?"  
  
"No. Not unless the slide made one."  
  
"How can you be so sure? There's got to be a way out. I mean, beside the caved in passage we came down."  
  
"Lucas and I played here all the time. If there was another way out, I'd know about it."  
  
"So you're an expert on the local scenery?"  
  
Haley ignored him. "Yep, and I was featured on National Geographic." She dug into the knapsack Karen had packed, tried to stay calm, take stock of what they had.  
  
The fear in her heart wasn't only for their situation. It was mainly concern for Lucas.  
  
"He wouldn't leave me, " she whispered. "Oh, God, let him be alright."[] 


	10. Dies Irae

It could be a lot better...it will be, I promise, but my brother gave me a cold so I'm kind've zoned out. Still thinking OTH, though...lol ..I'll clean up mistakes later.  
  
Chapter.10  
  
"Lucas!"  
  
Shards of rock rained about them. Larger chunks of stone bounced off the stone floor like deadly hail. It reminded Lucas of a scene from an action film. Something inside of him kept repeating, no, this isn't real. This can't be happening to me.  
  
Yet the warmth of Peyton's body, pressed close, reaffirmed the fact: they were caught in a landslide and the walls were falling around them. He felt Peyton's arms tighten about his neck, swallowed fear itself.  
  
They couldn't hear one another in the crashing, booming echos of destruction. Amazingly, Peyton still clutched her flashlight in one hand. Pebble sized rocks ricocheted away from it with high pitched tones.  
  
Then the floor began to tilt. Lucas scrabbled at the ledge, trying to find a hold, stop them from being slid into the open. Peyton caught Lucas's wrist.His precarious grip slipped, he grabbed at the stone, desperately trying to hold them both under the haven of safety.  
  
Another grating shift...and his hand fell away, clutching open air.[]  
  
"What was that?"  
  
Nathan rose on shaky legs, offered a hand to Haley. She shook him off, clambered to her knees and raised a white face to the shadows above.  
  
"We're becoming entombed in this awful place."  
  
"There's got to be something we can do!"  
  
"Send up a flare?"  
  
Nathan cast her a look of pure irritation, tempered by a growing admiration at her seeming fearlessness.  
  
"I think rescue parties are screaming out here. At least, with your dad around, we don't have to worry about getting forgotten."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Haley's answer was devoid of any bitterness. "I come from a large family. And I love them dearly. But...being an only child has it's advantages."  
  
"Only child?" Nathan smirked. "I wish."  
  
"Finally admitting to blood relations, are we?"  
  
"No. If Lucas wasn't around, our lives would be a lot simpler."  
  
Haley rummaged through the scattered pack. "I think you mean your life would be a lot simpler."  
  
"No. I didn't."  
  
"Nathan-"  
  
"No, Haley. Think about it. We're trapped here. Alone. Together. You came in here today with Lucas, not me. "  
  
Haley rose, brushing the dirt off her knees.  
  
"I left Lucas because you were about to give away our secret."  
  
"I needed to talk to you."  
  
"You led me down here and Lucas..." she let the sentence die.  
  
Nathan shrugged .""We're the ones you should be concerned about. No one else was in the tunnel. You know that."  
  
"Ya." She pushed her hair back and nodded."If there's one thing I learned growing up...nothing is black and white."[]  
  
"Peyton?"  
  
Lucas rubbed a dusty hand across his eyes, shirt bunched over his mouth. The thick, swirling grit choking. It seemed quiet. The ground had stopped shaking. A slab shifted inches away.  
  
"Peyton?"  
  
Lucas tried to move, but found out he couldn't budge. The rain of stone splinters was up to his waist, pinning him down. "Peyton!"  
  
"I-I'm over here." He made out a lighter form against the dark back drop of the cave.  
  
"Are you okay?" His voice was ragged with relief.  
  
"I'm stuck."  
  
"So'm I." He strained, but he had nothing to use as leverage. The pebbles shifted under his hands.  
  
"Are we going to die?"  
  
"No, no we're not. Are you alright? Are you hurt?"  
  
"It's hard to breath."  
  
"I know. Hold your arm over your mouth."  
  
"I am."  
  
Lucas sighed. "You should never have followed me."  
  
"Nathan came down here. And- I couldn't just leave him. Even if he is a jerk."  
  
"I know. I hope Haley's safe." The words were feeble, lame. He swallowed hard, held tight to the belief that she was okay. She had to be. She just had to.  
  
"There's a cavern at the end of this, isn't there? Or-there used to be."  
  
"Yes. We must be pretty close."  
  
"Lucas. I know what you're thinking. And don't worry about it. It isn't true."  
  
He remained silent. She heard his breathing-it was quick, shallow.  
  
"How deep are you?"  
  
"About-oh, I don't know."  
  
"Maybe if I could get free, I could dig you out. I think the cave is higher over here. I'm only in to my knees."  
  
"Peyton, be careful. There could be something hung up, if we cause a lot of disturbance..."  
  
"I'll be careful." She didn't like the tone of his voice. And she had the feeling it had something to do with Nathan and Haley.[]  
  
"Good thing you packed all this food."  
  
"Lucas's mom wanted to make sure we were well stocked."  
  
Haley picked at her sandwich. Their shadows, strangely distorted, were magnified on the walls behind them. "We should probably save the batteries."  
  
Nathan reached out and switched the flashlight off.[]  
  
"Lucas?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"What is that?"  
  
Peyton froze. She heard his breathing stop.  
  
"Bats."  
  
"Bats?"  
  
He couldn't help but notice the small shudder in her voice.  
  
"They can't hurt you."  
  
"I know."[]  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Lucas blinked up into the darkness. He must have drifted off...Peyton was tugging at his shirt . "There's a way out!"  
  
"Peyton- be careful!"  
  
"I am. But I can fit my head and shoulders through."  
  
Her voice grew faint. "Oh my gosh-hello! Hey! Can anybody here me? Hello?"  
  
Lucas shifted restlessly. It was hard to breathe, to think clearly with the pressure forcing him down. He wondered if Peyton was losing it...  
  
A spatter of pebbles hit him.  
  
"Peyton?"  
  
Maybe there was somebody there. Freedom on the other side-  
  
"Okay. Okay. Easy- Peyton, stay here. I'm going down."  
  
Nathan's voice. Lucas rolled his eyes in the dark. "Great."  
  
"Hello?"  
  
Lucas swallowed his pride. Something he'd had a lot of practice with, lately.  
  
"I'm over here."  
  
"Hold on."  
  
Lucas heard his brother land beside him.  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"This way."  
  
Pebbles moved, rose against his chest. Lucas kept his instinctive urge to panic at bay. He felt Nathan's hands on his shoulder.  
  
"Whoah. You really did it this time."  
  
Lucas didn't feel that comment deserved a reply.  
  
"Give me your hands. I'm going to try and brace myself on this rock-pull you out."  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
"We can try it, can't we?" Nathan's voice was sharp. "Give me your stupid hands."  
  
Lucas shook his head, mentally preparing himself. Ignored the attitude. "Okay."  
  
Nathan caught his hands...it felt strange, touching his brother...he almost pulled away.  
  
"Okay. On three."  
  
They heaved together; Nathan finally called a halt, gasping for air in the smothering closeness of the stone prison.  
  
"Are you holding up?"  
  
Lucas coughed. "Yes."  
  
"Then let's try this again." In the distance, a deep rumble drew attention to the fact that the tunnel was completely unstable. It could collapse at any time.  
  
"Again!"  
  
Nathan felt like his muscles were going to tear. He strained, sweat making him lose his grip.  
  
Lucas collapsed, as far as he was able. The blood pounded in his temples, he drew in deep gasps of air. "I'm not getting out."  
  
"Yes, you are." Nathan wiped his forehead and tried to think.  
  
Above them, a chunk of rock broke free and slammed into the broken ledge. Lucas tried to shield himself from flying splinters.  
  
Nathan swore softly.  
  
"You should get out of here." Lucas's voice was surprisingly calm.  
  
"Believe me, it's occurred to me."  
  
They were both silent, listening to the rapid pulse in their ears, each other's thoughts.  
  
"I'm going to try digging you out. The cave is a little lower over here."  
  
Lucas helped, but it seemed an endless task. Every time they made a small indent, more stones filled it up.  
  
"You didn't happen to pack a shovel?"  
  
Lucas paused. "No."  
  
"Seems like your mom packed everything else in that bag."  
  
"She looks out for me." Lucas's reply was clipped.  
  
Nathan opened his mouth to respond, but his comment was drowned out by shrill screams. Lucas glanced up toward the exit, but his attention was diverted...  
  
The earth was shaking again.  
  
Lucas covered his head with his arms, felt the sting of razor sharp rock chips.  
  
Nathan fell back against him, just missing the largest fragment. It rolled to a stop in front of them, sending up a wave of smaller debris.[] 


	11. Uneasy Truce

Sorry it's so short. Thanks for the replies!  
  
Chapter.11  
  
"Nathan. Get out."  
  
"Listen, I want to. I want to..."  
  
"Leave me?"  
  
Nathan opened his mouth, then closed it. He didn't even know what he wanted anymore. This was the opportunity he'd been waiting for. Dan had been waiting for...or was it?  
  
He pictured his father's face ...wondered. There was always the sneaking suspicion that Dan's antagonism toward Lucas and his mom was born, largely, of selfishness and guilt combined.  
  
Nathan didn't love Lucas.  
  
"Heck, I don't even like you!"  
  
The thought burst out of his mouth, and he felt like an idiot that he'd let the bastard hear part of his inner turmoil.  
  
"It's about you, son." Dan's voice rang clear in his mind, pushing other, more noble thoughts aside. Away.  
  
One foot braced against the crooked ledge. Reaching for the exit ...  
  
Lucas didn't offer any comment. He was silent, watching him go...  
  
Haley. If Nathan returned without Lucas, she'd come down here.  
  
"Oh, crap!"  
  
He grabbed Lucas by the wrist and shook him.  
  
"I'm not leaving. I wouldn't give you the smug satisfaction of thinking I was a coward. We're going to do it now, though. You're getting out before I get pulverized in here, I can certainly think of better ways to die and better people to do it with. Clear?"  
  
Lucas didn't offer any resistance. "Clear," he said, simply. In that way of his that made Nathan feel like a jerk. And he hated thinking about his actions. What he said, what he did. Dan had securely brainwashed him into the "it's my team, it's my life, it's my girl" type of thinking. And he liked it that way.  
  
"Wait a minute." Lucas fidgeted in the darkness.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Just fixing something...there."  
  
Nathan caught the sound of ripping cloth. "Did you get cut?," reluctantly.  
  
"Just a scratch. I'm ready."  
  
Nathan heaved their latest addition to the boulder collection over, so it was right in front of his brother.  
  
"You see that?"  
  
"Yes." Lucas reached out and felt it.  
  
"Okay. I'll scoop behind, you brace yourself on that and let's see if we can't get you out. "  
  
"The rocks have shifted."  
  
"Ya. That's what I'm hoping for."  
  
The stones began to fly, and Lucas felt a subtle shift of the pressure against his legs.  
  
"Okay." He strained, managed to pull himself up an inch or two. Out.  
  
"Working?"  
  
"Ya." He couldn't do much but gasp out an answer. Nathan didn't sound much better.  
  
"There- come on-"  
  
Nathan ran around to the front, took his arms.  
  
"Whoah."  
  
They fell on top of each other, totally exhausted.  
  
Lucas barely turned his head, murmured, "thanks."  
  
"Lets get out of here."  
  
It was hard to move, but Lucas felt the feeling returning to his limbs. The little exit at the top of the newly made cavern had shifted when the walls settled that last time...  
  
Nathan made it through, Lucas heard him drop onto the other side.  
  
The cavern beyond was large. It seemed huge after the space he'd been confined in the past hours.  
  
A flashlight lie on the floor of the cave, it's light cast toward them.  
  
"Haley?" Lucas turned in a full circle, started to ask Nathan where he'd left the girls, read the same startled expression on the other's features.  
  
Nathan raised his voice in a hoarse cry. "Peyton?"  
  
Lucas ran over to his pack, the contents strewn about the cave.  
  
"Nathan?"  
  
"Where did they go?"  
  
"Is there a way out?" Lucas scaled the reaches with his eyes.  
  
"According to Haley, no."  
  
"Trust her. She knows this cave inside out."  
  
"Then where are they?"  
  
"Haley!"  
  
Nathan stopped him. "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't come down here with Peyton."  
  
"Peyton followed me, I told her to go back, I was looking for Hales!" Lucas shook his head. "Haley."  
  
Nathan met the accusing stare, shrugged. "She wanted to spend some time with me."  
  
"I don't believe you."  
  
"Suit yourself."  
  
Lucas closed his eyes, took a calming breath. "Arguing isn't going to help us find them."  
  
"Right. So just accept the fact and lets get looking."  
  
Lucas bit off a retort and knelt before the scattered supplies. He frowned, trying to replay in his mind what might have happened.  
  
"We heard the screams," he remembered.  
  
"Yeah. I thought it was probably the bats..."  
  
"Me, too." Lucas rested his head in his hands.  
  
"You're bleeding."  
  
"I know." He tightened the torn shirt strip about his shoulder and stood.  
  
"I'm going to check every inch of this cave for cracks. That last shift might have opened a way out."  
  
"You think that's what happened?"  
  
"No." Lucas fought to stay calm, struggling against fatigue and the fact that the largest obstacles were still ahead. They were trapped in here.Together. And Haley and Peyton...were gone.[] 


	12. I Don't Care

Chapter.12  
  
Lucas opened his eyes, stared up into the inky darkness...swirling shadows...he felt dizzy...a mind half hazy with sleep and fatigue...cold stone under his fingertips...  
  
Clinging dampness...  
  
Nathan shifted restlessly, unable to sleep...there was an obvious distance between the two. He listened to Lucas's even breathing, wondered if he was alone in that eternal blackness...  
  
"Neither of us is going to get any sleep."  
  
Lucas's clothing rustled as he stood. Nathan switched the flashlight on, a sullen expression marring his features.  
  
Lucas had opened the pack, and was pulling out spare clothes, lingering over Haley's sweatshirt. Brusquely, he tossed his own shirt at Nathan, where it fell against his legs.  
  
Under the protective shield of darkness once more, Lucas wrapped Haley's spare shirt about his shoulders, drawing his knees up against the cold.  
  
Rescue never seemed farther away.[]  
  
Uncomfortable hours passed. No light marked the passage of time. No sound, save an occasional distant rumble that was usually echoed by tremors.  
  
"Hey- you awake?" Nathan's voice came out rough, unused.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I can't really sleep. It's too weird." The term 'creepy' came to mind, but it sounded kiddish and scared. Which it was.  
  
"I know." Lucas rolled over and squinted toward the sound of his brother talking.  
  
"How long do you think we'll be down here?"  
  
Lucas didn't have an answer. Instead, he curled up, trying to conserve his strength. Buried his cold face in Haley's sweatshirt. He'd never noticed how the smell of mint seemed to cling to her. It had just been there, a part of Haley, like her laughter. Her wit. Things he'd been taking for granted..until lately. Until he'd found her hat in Peyton's car. Until she'd lied to him. Until she'd followed Nathan into this cavern. On an impulse, he searched her pockets, found a cool foil wrapper...  
  
By now, he was incredibly thirsty. And Nathan, too, he imagined. The water bottle looped around his waist was buried in about four feet of rock.  
  
Feeling silly, like some reality show survivor, Lucas carefully folded the gum in half and offered one piece to Nathan.  
  
"I want bottled water, not half a stick of Wrigley's." But he took it, almost greedily. The remainder of Karen's sandwiches stuck like sawdust in their throats. The crumbled cookies only made them thirstier. Funny thing was, Lucas reflected, they weren't even hungry.  
  
Spread out across the eerie cavern. Faces luminous in the too bright flashlight glare, foreign shadows playing across their features.[]  
  
"Lucas! wake up!"  
  
Nathan's fingers digging into his arm so hard it hurt.  
  
The ground was shaking so, they could hardly hear what one another was shouting. Lucas jumped up, stumbled into the pack and bumped into Nathan.  
  
"There's no way out!"  
  
"I know!"  
  
Trapped. They began to truly understand the feelings of smaller, weaker creatures...defenseless, totally at the mercy of something greater than themselves. Beyond human power.  
  
The next shock drove them to their knees. Nathan crawled forward, ran into Lucas. Small pieces of the cave shattered around them.  
  
"Ah!" Nathan tried to shield his head in his arms, so close to Lucas that he could feel the rapid pulse of his brother's heart.  
  
The last "quake" had to be the worst, but also the shortest. Unbelievably, it only lasted for a space of about ten seconds.  
  
Lucas, bracing his hand on the wall, drug himself to an upright position. Nathan coughed, still sprawled across the floor.  
  
"You okay?" Lucas touched his shoulder, tentatively.  
  
"Fine." He clambered to his feet, brushing the dust from his clothes. "Do you feel that?"  
  
"Air." Lucas lifted his face, felt a slight breeze caress his sweaty skin.  
  
"Come on!"  
  
"Wait! Let's use the light."  
  
"I dropped it."  
  
Lucas searched the ground, inch by inch; it was frustrating, realizing the flashlight could be mere centimeters from his fingers, yet not find it.  
  
Warm yellow broke the gloom. He sighed in relief. But how had the light gotten over there?  
  
"Great, Nathan!"  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
His half brother's voice floated from behind. The light winked steadily ahead.  
  
They came to the same conclusion simultaneously.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Hello! In here."  
  
A jagged hole, almost a thick crack in the cavern wall. And outlined against it...  
  
"Nathan?"  
  
Lucas froze as Dan stepped through the opening, their haven to the outside world...  
  
"Dad!"  
  
Dan threw his arms about his son, holding him tight. "It feels so good to touch you." He held Nathan at arms length. "I've been so worried..."  
  
"How did you find us? Did Peyton and Haley get out okay?"  
  
"The girls? No, no. They're still down here. Keith and I, we used to explore this place every summer. Actually discovered a few things about the old cave we kept as our secret hiding place. The rescue team isn't exactly our pace. They put safety first."  
  
Lucas watched the exchange silently, a familiar sadness welling up. He felt awkward and an outsider...with his own family. Which he was. He stepped back, into deeper shadows beyond the widening circle of light.  
  
Dan's eyes narrowed as Lucas's shoe scuffed against the rocks.  
  
"Who's there?"  
  
"It's Lucas, Dad. We've been together practically this whole time ."  
  
"Oh, yes. Lucas...he's down here, too."  
  
Time enough for keeping quiet and feeling miserable. Lucas straightened and forced himself into the center of the cavern.  
  
Dan's gaze only briefly lingered on his face; it traveled over Lucas's body, quick, impartial, taking in injuries.  
  
"Where's Keith?"  
  
"Oh. We split up."  
  
"Split up?" He caught up to them, shook his head.  
  
Dan halted, turned with an impatient gesture. "We disagreed on the route, so he went one way, I another." He pushed past Lucas, muttering under his breath.  
  
Lucas took in the heavy knapsack, the walkie talkie looped over Dan's belt.  
  
"Shouldn't we let him know we're alright?"  
  
Dan cast him an angry glance. "He isn't answering. The signal disappeared, his talkie's dead."  
  
"Dead?"  
  
"Listen. I found you two, I'm going to get you out of here, that's about all I'm up to, at the moment. Now, either go back in there and wait for someone else to find you, or shut up and come with me. Clear enough?"  
  
Lucas frowned. He couldn't let the matter slip. "Did-did you lose contact with him before or after the slide?"  
  
"Before." Dan helped Nathan through the exit, jerked his chin at Lucas. "Get going."  
  
Lucas climbed through the jagged opening, ducked into another tunnel.  
  
"Where are we?" Nathan asked, in a hushed tone.  
  
"Some kind of Indian diggings." Dan grunted, squeezed through and waved his light at them. "It's completely unstable. Let's get out of here while we have the chance." He pressed a thermos into his son's hands.  
  
Nathan tilted it, drank deeply, coughed, then offered it to Lucas.  
  
Dan watched the exchange, eyes narrowing at the apparent civility between the two.  
  
Nathan grew uncomfortable under his father's scrutiny. He could read the words spinning through the elder man's mind.  
  
"So, Nathan. You just going to give it all up? Handing him your life on a platter?"  
  
Dan would intercept the growing tolerance as a sign of weakness.  
  
"Okay." Dan tossed an energy bar at each of them.  
  
Lucas shook his head. "I'm not going back. I'm not, I'm not leaving until I find him."  
  
"You're coming with us and letting the rescue team do it's job."  
  
"They might be too late. You said so yourself."  
  
"You listen to me." Dan strode forward, took Lucas by the arm and shook him. "You're going to shut your mouth and follow."  
  
"You think that you can ignore me my entire life, pretend I don't exist, and then suddenly start taking charge?"  
  
"You're ---- right I can."  
  
They faced each other, a stand off neither could win.  
  
"Why do you care?" Lucas practically screamed. It threw them all off guard. He was shaking with rage, pent up emotions, anger from years and years of abuse.  
  
"Why do you care?" It came out in a whisper. "You don't care about me. Keith does. I'm going to him."  
  
Dan watched him, eyes focused, yet vacant.  
  
Lucas twisted under his grip. Tell tale tears he valiantly held back.  
  
"Let me go!"  
  
"Keith isn't your father."  
  
"Who is, then?" Lucas pulled away. "Because I think a father is the person who brings you gifts at Christmas, who tucks you in at night and who teaches you how to ride a bike and play basketball. Who talks to you about becoming a man and how to treat girls and asks you what you want to be when you grow up."  
  
Dan shook his head. He seemed dazed.  
  
"Because if that makes someone your father, I think mine is somewhere out there, maybe waiting for help. And I'm going to find him."  
  
Time seemed to stand still. Dan shook his head, regained the cold, aloof manner his personality defined.  
  
"Suit yourself. I don't know who you are, and I didn't care before, I don't think anything's changed." He cast Lucas a careless look. "Go find someone to claim you. I don't."  
  
He draped his arm about Nathan's shoulders, turned his back to him. The light wavered down the path, Nathan glancing back, once.  
  
And the darkness reclaimed him, literally.  
  
Standing alone, hugging himself, the repressed tears marking a silent course down his face.  
  
Alone. Completely. And the whispering of the caves...[] 


	13. Cliffhanger

Thankyou, everyone, for all the encouragment! Promise next chapter will be longer and deal with the girls.  
  
Chapter.13  
  
His arms were sore, hands roughened from endless contact with stone, stinging in the raw places. His clothes...a veritable Robinson Crusoe...  
  
The thought almost brought a smile to his lips.  
  
"Robinson Crusoe, eh?," Keith would say.  
  
And if Lucas laughed, he'd laugh with him.  
  
But if he looked downcast , he'd clap him on the shoulder and say,"That's okay. You can be whoever you want to be. Your life is for you to map out, you alone."  
  
Lucas paused in the dark, felt a familiar burning sensation behind his eyes...  
  
How could two brothers be more different?  
  
He slammed his knee into an outcrop of rock, banged the wall with his fist. Every time he started thinking about Dan, something happened.  
  
He had to learn to control it. Not let Dan 'get inside his head.'  
  
The pain in Lucas's leg brought him back to reality.  
  
No light. No food. Haley's sweatshirt the only whole piece of clothing on him.  
  
Keith, Peyton, Hales. They were probably all rescued by now, safe in the hands of capable emergency workers. And worried about him.  
  
But a little nagging voice, that physically ill feeling in the pit of your stomach, told him not to give up.  
  
Lucas was relieved the cave had finally settled down. The thought of becoming trapped down here still brought sweat to his forehead, but the freezing panic was gone.  
  
He pictured, in his mind, images of September Eleventh...the day a part of his world had changed. So many changes, large and small, here and there. And, add them all up, pluses, negatives, and you had a life.  
  
The clarity of his thoughts was amazing. Silent, unmuddied, unprejudiced.  
  
He felt his way through the bleak emptiness of the tunnels, brushing up against the cold, remembering...  
  
His first taste of orange juice. Chilled, frothy,orange. A peculiar cobweb cleaner in the wee hours of morning.  
  
Brushing his fingers against smooth, ivory keys- the mellow tones of a piano. His mom, playing...  
  
The way people smiled at you when you made them proud, like making that first basket.  
  
It's what he really missed most, around Dan. That look, that 'I'm proud of you' glance. It's things like that that let a person feel worth while.  
  
The ground began slanting downhill. He cautiously followed the descent, not sure of what lay ahead. Not sure of anything, anymore. Except that he was thirsty, and very, very tired.  
  
It might be a good thing to call out, just in case somebody was close by. Funny, being alone, in the dark, made one unconsciously tend to breathe more quietly, straining for welcome sounds in the hushed atmosphere of the underground.  
  
"Hello!"  
  
The cave caught his shout, threw it back at him, again and again.  
  
Echoing.  
  
"Peyton?"  
  
Funny, it was her name that kept coming, unbidden, to his lips.  
  
"Haley? Keith!"  
  
"Lucas!"  
  
Wondering if he'd imagined that cry. Turning slowly around...  
  
Footsteps thudded off the hard floor.  
  
"Lucas?"  
  
Shocked realization.  
  
"Nathan?"  
  
"Wait up."  
  
Lucas imagined him, hands on his knees, bent over, gasping for air.  
  
"I didn't think I'd find you."  
  
"Tunnel hasn't branched off."  
  
"The girls aren't out. I couldn't leave them. He could."  
  
Lucas swallowed. A tiny part, hoping that Nathan had come back partially because of him.  
  
Realizing what a fool he was. Scott's seemed eternally ready to deliver a slap in the face.  
  
"Dan just let you walk back in here?"  
  
Nathan cleared his throat. "That's none of your business."  
  
Lucas shook his head, an unseen gesture.  
  
"It's okay. You think he runs my life or something?"  
  
"You don't need to explain yourself to me." Lucas pushed on ahead, anxious to leave the subject behind.  
  
"I sure as heck don't."  
  
"Listen." Lucas focused on his brother's vague shape. "I don't want to argue. I'm here to find people who may be hurt, who are depending on us. Forget about Dan. He's not worth it."  
  
"No, you're wrong."  
  
"Oh. And you can say that, with a clear conscious? Nathan, loyalty has boundaries, too."  
  
"And those are?"  
  
"When it becomes a wedge between someone and the entire outside world. If you didn't let him make all your decisions for you then maybe you wouldn't have time for all this crap."  
  
"You don't know anything about it. Since when have you ever been in our lives? My dad, the team, at school-you're just an outsider. You don't fit in. Why do you even bother?"  
  
Lucas quickened his pace, heard Nathan run to catch up.  
  
"And Peyton. Just give it up."  
  
"I think she broke up with you."  
  
"Like it's the first time? Peyton's that way. We always get back together."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Maybe? You hardly know her. I've been with her for years."  
  
"That's my point."  
  
"You know what? I-"  
  
Lucas caught his sleeve. "Hear that?"  
  
"Maybe it's the girls! Peyton? Haley!"  
  
"Nathan, wait a minute! Nathan, slow down!"  
  
"Peyton? Pey-ah!"  
  
"Nathan! Where are you?"  
  
Cooler air. Twisting, like fingers, through strained clothing. Pressing him back.  
  
Lucas held up a hand, stumbled toward the source.  
  
Light. Dim light, growing brighter each clumsy footstep.  
  
The ground broken, uneven. Tripping on something...a vine. Vine?  
  
Sand, scattered over everything, in the wind. Blinding him. Ocean smell.  
  
They'd found the way out!  
  
Lucas laughed, followed the curve of the tunnel toward freedom-  
  
And his feet jerked out from under him.  
  
Sand scoured, treacherously slippery rock. There was nothing to grab hold of, smooth stone. His fingers clutched at the walls, missed.  
  
Then everything fell away, he was hurtling down...enveloped in space...  
  
"Ah!"  
  
A gnarled vine, thicker than his wrist. Climbing, snaking it's way up the steep cavern surface. Lucas landed over it, started to slide off, hooked his arm around it.  
  
It snapped taut. Then held.  
  
Looking down. Trying to find a foothold. Nothing. Empty, tree pocked beach. Waves, thundering against house sized boulders. The spray crashed into them, sent up an arc of foam that hid all that lay beneath.  
  
The weight of his body, digging into his arms.  
  
Nathan's voice.  
  
Lucas manged to turn his head, met Nathan's terror stricken gaze.  
  
"I can't-hold-on-" he was suspended, supported by a  
  
tentative hold, fistfuls of scrawny, cliff side shrubbery.  
  
"Do it, Nathan! Hold on! Don't let go!"  
  
"It's-breaking-"  
  
Lucas felt dirt as it trickled down from the greenery. "Oh, crap!"  
  
The lashing gusts of wind sent the vine to swaying.  
  
Something ripped loose-Haley's sweatshirt. It rode the breeze, a fallen standard, turning over and over, before disappearing below.  
  
"Ah!" Nathan fell another foot, was stopped short. Lucas wondered how much time until all the growth gave way. With him, it was a question of, could he hold on any longer?  
  
Sweating, in the coldness. Muscles burning. Fear, strain, washing over them...Lucas blinked, felt like blacking out.  
  
"Hey! Nathan! Nathan! Up here. Lucas! Boys!"  
  
Lucas lifted his head, shaking, focused on that voice...was it real or imaginary?  
  
One hand fell away. Beside him, Nathan cried out.  
  
Warm, hard, somebody grabbed his wrist.  
  
Dan Scott, feet latched around a skinny tree. Face down, a son clinging to each hand for dear life.  
  
"Come on! Push up!"  
  
There was nothing to use as leverage. The cliff side was slanted inward.  
  
Dan grunted, bit out,"Come on! I can't-keep this up-forever-"  
  
Lucas, holding onto that hand, feeling Dan's grip slipping...  
  
Nathan, "Dad!"  
  
"Hurry!"  
  
There was no way he could save both of them.  
  
Nathan, white faced, pleading.  
  
Lucas, silent, eyes closed.  
  
Dan swore under his breath; he was strong enough for this, he had to be. He was in shape, he trained, heck, he worked out every day. He was stronger than most men his age. He was always on the ball. He-  
  
They saw his lips move, sound torn away by the buffeting wind. Dan's face contorted,  
  
"I'm sorry..." they read.[] 


	14. Falling Free

Short, I apologize, but my computer time is limited by too many family members all crying 'my turn! get off there!'  
  
Hope this chapter wasn't a let down. I plead for mercy!  
  
Chapter.14  
  
Suspended, waiting...all three surprisingly quiet. The wind, a roaring in their ears. The beauty of the sun, sparkling waves and crests all golden beaded...  
  
Time seemed to stand still. Eyes locked with each other. Dan's...hopeless, straining, terror filled...  
  
Nathan's...wild, lost, beseeching...  
  
Lucas's...open, empty, resigned...  
  
Dark and light, speaking to each other more than words could communicate...  
  
"I can't hold you both..I can't save you..."  
  
"Come on, Dad, don't let go..."  
  
"I'm not the one he wants..."  
  
Part of the cliff side gave way, crumbling dirt and stone...  
  
Time was running out.[]  
  
Sink downward...deep...deep into the caverns...  
  
"Are you hungry?"  
  
"Not anymore." Haley reached for Peyton, took her hand in the dark. "At first I was too scared to think about food. Then I was really hungry because I thought we'd found a way out. And now...I don't care, one way or the other."  
  
"I bet they've found them."  
  
"I hope so..."  
  
"Yeah, they're boys. Don't need help from us."  
  
"Hey, we tried **** hard to get out."  
  
"I really thought it would be a simple trek, send in a rescue team for the guys, and..."  
  
"End of one horribly written adventure story."  
  
"About it."  
  
"Our problem is, the story keeps on going. You know, those books that really don't make any sense, but you have to read them for school, and every time you come to a finish there's like ten more 'parts'?"  
  
"Yeah. Or the boring ones."  
  
"Well, this certainly isn't boring."  
  
"I can't believe we're totally lost."  
  
"Now's the time to carry a compass, Haley James."  
  
"Hey. I think we did pretty well."  
  
Haley cast Peyton a sarcastic look. Peyton shrugged, half smiled. "For a couple of girls?," she tacked on.  
  
"Excuse me?" Haley was indignant.  
  
"It's kind of crappy...being down here..." there was a slight waver to the blond girl's voice.  
  
"More like freaky. If I hadn't gotten over my' fear-of-the-dark-oh-my-gosh-what's-under-the-bed' phase long ago, I'd be in bad shape."  
  
"Like facing yourself."  
  
Haley waited for her to elaborate.  
  
"I mean, they say that are worst fear is inside of us."  
  
"Peyton, you are far too introspective considering we're buried in the middle of the earth-"  
  
"Sort of like Lord of the Rings-"  
  
"Except, no Gollum."  
  
"Oh, yes. I bet Dan Scott's arrived."  
  
Haley laughed in surprise. "I'm Sam. Definitely."  
  
"The guys are probably safe in the arms of an entire town, being plied with food..." Peyton changed the subject, unable to play along.  
  
Haley cut her off. "Lucas is probably worried crazy."  
  
"Would he really dash back in here, the rescuing hero?"  
  
"No, he'd quietly slip away and hunt for us."  
  
"Hunt us down-"  
  
"Yes. And Nathan. He seemed pretty upset about you."  
  
"We're through." Peyton abruptly switched off the light. Luckily, she'd discovered that the miniature pink flashlight on her key-chain actually worked.  
  
During that last tremor, when they thought they really weren't going to make it, Haley had almost fallen down a narrow crevice about a foot above the floor, which, upon exploring, turned out to be a tunnel.  
  
Unfortunately for them, it was not the main tunnel that Dan and the boys traveled down, but a much narrower, slimier one that only led them farther into the heart of the ground. On their return trek to wait for the boys (or go on in, as Haley threatened), the rock had shifted yet again.  
  
It was all unreal. Like some Indian spirit was wandering these empty caverns and maneuvering people like chess pieces. Maybe there was. The thought was far from reassuring. And a bag of half squashed peanut m&m's, some fruit leather and altoid strips really didn't cut it, when their appetites finally did return.  
  
Little did they know the life and death situation the Scott's were facing... simple, even humdrum, their own adventure paled in comparison.[]  
  
Dan felt his fingers cramping. Soon, if he didn't make a decision...  
  
Lucas could tell his father's reserve strength was fast fading...  
  
Nathan yelled something... Dan was slipping...inch by inch, he jerked forward, straining to keep from being drug off the face of the cliff. Lucas could understand the man's desperation. He was the one who had to make a choice. He had to be, or feel, responsible for letting one of them go...for the rest of his life. Or they all died. Heroic and noble as it sounded, Lucas knew it would be a senseless waste. And he also knew, if Dan could decide to let one of them fall, who it would be.  
  
He didn't consider it bravery. Or foolishness. He didn't take the time to think, just acted.  
  
Caught Dan's gaze, held him with his eyes. Nathan, dangling beside him, face flushed with exertion and soundless emotions.  
  
And then, quite simply, he let go of Dan. Pulled his fingers away, caught the shock on his father's face...the fleeting look of respect that Lucas knew the man would fully understand later on.  
  
It was strange, falling...he went limp, knew the impact would be less painful. It took a space of mere seconds, but it seemed hours. Almost peaceful. The water was shimmering beneath, blue and inviting...he flashed by the dark shapes of looming rocks...flying...[]  
  
Nathan and Dan, the weight lessened, froze, their own struggle forgotten as they watched Lucas, tiny against the endless expanse of ocean..  
  
The doll sized figure, sweeping across the sunlight, clothes swept out like the wings of a bird.  
  
They lost sight of him as he disappeared behind the brooding, shadowed boulders.  
  
The sunlight faded, then went out entirely, buried beneath a charging mass of clouds.[] 


	15. Deep Blue Sea

Chapter 15  
  
Keith shook his head, trying to clear it. The ragged gash he'd sustained, stumbling out a long forgotten tunnel, was bleeding less profusely. He sighed, tightened the bandage around it. "Might need a couple of stitches."  
  
His own way had led him out of the caverns, down onto the beach. Leave it to Dan to find the kids, if they were up there. He'd scour the smaller tunnels that dead ended in a scrambling criss cross of exits. It was hard enough, a veteran of the caves, to remember which way to turn.  
  
He thumbed on his walkie talkie. Threw it down in disgust.  
  
"Ah! Still dead." His guess-little brother hadn't checked to see if these things were supplied with spare power packs. They'd just been something good to have...laying around, Dan had said. Well, they weren't the latest technology, but, then again, who'd thought they'd ever need to use them?  
  
He discarded an empty water bottle, sighed and tucked into his increasingly heavy pack.  
  
"Lucas, where the heck are you?"  
  
Keith wasn't overly worried. The kids were pretty responsible. Haley and Lucas should be okay...maybe trapped somewhere. The stinging of his leg blotted out most of his earlier fear.  
  
Karen didn't know, thank heaven. She'd had more than her share of troubles as of late. Lucas seemed to be causing his mom a lot of worry..."He'd better not be playing the hero," Keith thought, crunching an empty candy bar wrapper in his fist. That boy. No matter what, he had this instinctive protective urge, whatever people called it, and it was getting him into an awful lot of hot water. Keith promised himself he'd give the boy a good talking to when he caught up with him.  
  
"Can't take this, Luke. My old heart can't take this."  
  
The slight uphill rise on the beach looked like a mountain. He groaned and shuffled toward it.[]  
  
Dan heaved, Nathan took a tighter grip with both of his dad's arms around him. Up...over the sheer edge-onto solid ground.  
  
"Nathan!"  
  
The elder Scott pressed his son close. Arms burning, exhausted, encircled in a fierce embrace.  
  
"What about Lucas?" Nathan's voice was hoarse. He knelt at the tip of the ledge, shaded his eyes as the sun reappeared.  
  
"He let go." Dan pinned him with his gaze. "I didn't drop him. I didn't, son."  
  
"But were you going to, Dad? Or me? What were you going to do?"  
  
"That's unfair. Nathan, I know you're upset. We both are. But there was nothing I could do."  
  
"Dad, he came after me. Me. I didn't use my head, it was my fault."  
  
"Son, don't tear yourself up. There's no need. Lucas did what he did so there wouldn't be any blame."  
  
"The hero, as usual." Nathan felt moisture on his face. Dan looked away, embarrassed.  
  
"I hate you. Hate you!"  
  
Pushing his father aside. Tripping, running into the comforting dark of the cave. He wiped his arm across his eyes, unable to stop the sudden flow of tears. He knew that it was shock, a combination of stress and fatigue most anyone would break under. Guilt washed over him, crushing with it's intensity. Past actions resurfaced to accuse him, maybe he saw them for the first time in all their petty jealousness.  
  
"Oh, God. What will Haley say?"[]  
  
"Dang birds."  
  
Keith swung a water sanded staff at a peculiarly aggressive seagull. It kept flapping just over his head, and whenever he thought he was finally rid of it, the looming shadow in front of him proved otherwise.  
  
"Quit following me! I can see you!" Keith sighed as the shadow in front of him moved away, turned to pinpoint the retreating bird with his eyes. "Good! Go do whatever birds do."  
  
Normally, he was not this disgruntled. Keith was usually an affable fellow...unless you crossed him, slighted his shop, Karen or Lucas. Or were named Dan.  
  
Something caught his attention-bright colors, patched against the dark, grim backdrop of the cave. He strained, trying to see-figures. Human figures. Red-Dan had been wearing a red shirt. Blue..oh, God, Lucas wore a lot of blue...white...he stared, tried to separate the forms.  
  
One fell. It was too quick to focus on, but it wasn't good. He ripped off his pack, threw it down, scattering the contents everywhere. Tore off his jacket, shoes, waded out into the breakers, head down, kicking furiously.  
  
Lucas could swim. Dan could...trust him to excel at anything that even smelled of athleticism. He knew Nathan must...ah...where had that tiny speck fallen? He forced his head above the waves, steeling himself for someone stretched out on the rocks.  
  
Into the clusters of stone. They dotted this part of the shore almost a quarter mile out. Which was why this particular stretch of beach was always deserted-even from trespassers. It was on government land, and not a recreational park by any means.  
  
He broke again, for air...there was nothing to guide him. Nothing. And the force of a fall that high, if you landed just right...by some miracle...might not kill you. But it was ten to one that you wouldn't be knocked out by it.  
  
Seconds were slipping away...Keith splashed into a circlet of rocks...  
  
"Come up, " he urged. There was no way he was going to find a person out here, especially if they sank...  
  
"Hey! Anybody out there? You hear me?"  
  
His stomach was clenched in a deep, gnawing fear he'd never felt before. Opening his mouth to shout again...cold breakers slammed into the boulders, the backwash pulled him farther out, choking his cries. Wind lashed, icy...  
  
"I'm not giving up!" he was screaming at the elements, inside. "You're going to let me find him!"[]  
  
Nathan stumbled blindly through the tunnel, back the way they-they'd come. He had to get down there. He didn't know how. He didn't know why. But he had to go. Dan was still standing on the precipice, face a frozen mask, letting him go.  
  
Keith's head shot to the surface. There was nothing here. Maybe the current had already carried the person out...  
  
Desperation gave him newfound strength. Battling the waves. He pushed into the third cluster of rocks, saw him...  
  
Nausea almost overcame him...  
  
A ragged blue shirt, battering against stone.  
  
He snatched at it, held it with a shaking hand. No sign of Lucas...[]  
  
"Nathan! Wait up! You're going to hurt yourself. Nathan!"  
  
He could tell his dad was upset. The voice echoing off the tunnel walls wasn't one he'd ever heard before. It was roughened, a broken quality about it that made him hesitate.  
  
"Son, slow down."  
  
Nathan shrugged Dan's restraining hand off, but adjusted his wild flight to his dad's more cautious pace. And Dan had a light...  
  
"I'm going down there."  
  
"Okay." Dan was quiet. "I'll take you. Stay tight."[]  
  
Keith shook his hair back, gasping for air. Dived down again...clutched at a handful of ocean growth.  
  
"Lucas!" The word exploded from him, a trail of bubbles...still in it's downward spiral, tumbling, Lucas's body...farther out than Keith had thought possible. He kicked down, took a firm hold, rose to the surface...  
  
Land was too far away. He headed for the flattest rock, trying to keep his nephew's head above water.  
  
Struggled onto it, heaving Lucas up, checking for a pulse, pressing down on his chest..."one, two, three! Come on!"  
  
Repeating it, over and over. "Come on!"  
  
Movement...a deep shudder, Lucas coughing...Keith tried to catch his breath, waited. Lucas coughed up more water. Opened his eyes. Keith wasn't sure he saw him.  
  
"Lucas, take it easy. Easy." He gently pushed him back down. "It's Keith. It's Keith. Now, take it slow. You hear me?"  
  
A weak nod.  
  
"Okay, Lucas. listen to me. You hurt anywhere? Does anything hurt?"  
  
Understanding began to dawn. "Nothing feels broken." He tried to curl onto his side, but Keith stopped him. "Let's make sure, okay? It'd be a miracle if nothing's cracked."  
  
"It's not." Lucas was trying to reassure him, even in his half dazed state. "Just hurts..."  
  
"Impact." Keith shook his head. "I think you're one lucky kid."  
  
Lucas smiled weakly, touched his rescuer's arm. "Was worried about you..."  
  
"Lucas Scott, if you don't try to curb some of that heroism, it's going to get you killed." Keith saw his nephew's eyelids flutter, swallowed. "Enough time for that later on. You're right. You're right."  
  
He shrugged out of a sodden shirt. It was better than nothing. Put it around Lucas's shoulders, peered up into the darkening sky.  
  
"Nathan?"  
  
Lucas sat up beside him.  
  
Keith smiled. "I think they're okay. And anyways..."  
  
He hesitated as Lucas wrapped a cold arm about him..both of them, dripping wet...on the middle of a rock, surrounded by water. The cuckoo gulls flapping close by. He didn't bother to shoo them away.  
  
"We must look like a couple of crazies. And I want to know what happened up there...what's been happening, these last couple of days."  
  
Lucas opened his mouth, but he shushed him with a squeeze. "Save it, okay? We're freezing our tails off, and I need to get you to a doctor."  
  
"I'm okay-"  
  
"Hey, I need to see one, so just accompany me, alright?"  
  
Lucas nodded. He wondered how long it'd take to get a boat out here. As long as Dan and Nathan made it down ...  
  
He started to ask about Peyton and Haley, but Keith didn't look much better than he felt, so he held his peace.  
  
He knew nothing would stop him, and he had the feeling Nathan, either, if they really put their minds to it.  
  
Savored that tiny look of respect he'd glimpsed on Dan's face.  
  
Little did he know, the part where Dan came face to face with the knowledge that "Karen's Son" was more a Scott than himself...or his son.[] 


	16. Immature Mature Adult

Chapter .16  
  
Nathan picked his way among the rocks along the beach...he half slipped, soaking one shoe. Dan pulled him back, impatient.  
  
"Nathan, slow up. You're going to get wet."  
  
"It won't kill me, Dad."  
  
Dan caught the sideways glance, heard the edge in his son's tone.  
  
"Be careful." He released Nathan's arm, voice unusually quiet.  
  
"Don't worry, dad, I will."  
  
"What do you want from me?"  
  
"I want you-" Nathan half turned, gestured helplessly. "I want you to feel something. Regret, something. Lucas is dead. He's dead."  
  
Dan shook his head, frustrated. "But, son, I didn't kill him. He made the choice of his own free will. And I'm not going to pay for that. But Karen will."  
  
"Lucas was your son."  
  
"Technically, Nathan, but-"  
  
"I can't believe you're still arguing about this now!"  
  
"And since when, Nathan, when did you become the friend, the long lost brother? Because I, for one, didn't see any love lost between you two."  
  
"I know. I hate him. But I've always seen it wasn't his fault. I caused the tension between us. But I still hated him."  
  
"Well, maybe it's for the best." Dan sighed, relieved his son was starting to open up.  
  
Nathan looked back, face a mask of anger. "What?"  
  
"Nathan, you have so much to offer. Think-think what it would be like if you had died. Think about your mother. If we'd all died? Lucas knew that. He chose."  
  
Nathan scuffed his foot against a green tinted bottle. "Then he was the bigger man."  
  
"It's easy to be courageous when you know you're going to die, anyways."  
  
"Then how come I couldn't let go? Even if my mind had wanted to, there's no way I could have done it." He looked out, across the water. "Question is, would you have let me fall?"  
  
Dan frowned. "Son, I could barely hold onto both of you. What does all this mean?"  
  
"I think that you were relieved that Luke let go. It made it easy for you."  
  
"I wouldn't exactly define the thought as easy, Nathan, not at any time." Dan was growing irritated.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Let's get out of here." Dan shivered in the chill wind, slung an arm about his son's shoulders.  
  
Nathan nodded, looking at the ground.  
  
Blowing sand. Empty water.  
  
Empty.[]  
  
"Keith, you okay?"  
  
Lucas peered at his uncle in concern.  
  
"Yeah. This dang leg."  
  
Lucas shifted his position, examined the wound, Keith half grinning at him.  
  
"Don't touch my boo boo, kid."  
  
Lucas ignored him. "It doesn't look too bad." He tore a strip off Keith's shirt and gently circled the older man's leg.  
  
"I see more of Karen in you every day."  
  
Lucas tied the makeshift bandage and smiled.[]  
  
Nathan redirected his steps, reluctant to face everything. The people who would be waiting for them on the other side of the cliff. The fact that the girls might not have been rescued yet.  
  
He shaded his eyes, hoping for one last glimpse of something-seeking reassurance, he didn't know what.  
  
"Wait!"  
  
Far out.... Impossible. He grabbed Dan's pack, shaking a pair of binoculars onto the beach.  
  
Adjusted them with trembling hands. Had to be Keith. Had to be. Or the girls. The girls...somehow...  
  
Dan was staring at him with concern.  
  
The blurry figures wobbled into focus. Nathan's voice broke excitedly.  
  
"I see them! I see them!"  
  
"Who?" Dan reached for the glasses, but Nathan shook him aside.  
  
"Lucas! Uncle Keith. Lucas and Keith!"  
  
"Well, well." Dan's first thought was scorn. Should have expected it of big brother. All around hero. His mouth twisted bitterly.  
  
"Let's go!" Nathan dropped the binoculars, started unlacing his shoes. Dan caught him.  
  
"Whoa, son, let's not go rushing into things! That water's cold."  
  
"How long will it take us to make it back?"  
  
"Around? If we shortcut it, through the reserve, say, two, three, hours."  
  
"What if Lucas is hurt bad? They're wet, they don't have any protection, and it's going to storm."  
  
True enough. Dan's eyes roamed the gray, windswept sky and he groaned inwardly.  
  
"That water's rough. You planning on swimming out and bringing 'em in? 'Cause Keith isn't towing Lucas back and I'm sure there's a reason."  
  
"Maybe he's worn out." Nathan smugly met his father's gaze. "After all, you yourself said he wasn't in shape."  
  
Dan practically sneered. "Cute. My own son, think's he's the world's smartest wise ***."  
  
Nathan sobered. "Dad...how long is it going to take to get a boat?" He stood up, kicking his sneakers aside. "And unless you left a third talkie back there with someone..."  
  
Dan pushed Nathan away. "Fine. But I'm going.You're in no condition to be doing this."  
  
Nathan waited until Dan had waded out and sliced into the waves before following.[]  
  
Lucas closed his eyes, tried to concentrate. How long it'd take for someone to find them...he cast a quick glance in Keith's direction. The man was stretched out, totally exhausted. Lucas knew his 'uncle' was wiped out. There was nothing to do but wait. And that was becoming decidedly unpleasant.  
  
He picked up a dried splinter of driftwood and scratched patterns into the rock. Marooned. On his very own coast.[]  
  
Dan splashed up to the boulder, shaking back his wet hair. He found a handhold and clambered to the top.  
  
Keith Scott, spread out, mouth open in deep slumber. Dan noted the stained bandage around his older brother's leg. Lucas. For all his height, a surprisingly small bump. He was nestled in a deeper crevice, head on his knees. A white shirt flapped wildly atop a smooth stick jammed next to him. Dan had to marvel at the boy's level headedness, if nothing else.  
  
So far, his presence on the island had gone unnoticed, drowned by the crashing surf and rushing wind. He felt embarrassed, almost an intruder, staring at his son-um, er, Lucas! like this. He reluctantly reached out and touched him.  
  
Lucas didn't notice the hesitant touch. Dan shook him, carefully.  
  
'Karen's son' lifted his head, blinked muzzily at the dark shape looming above him. Almost freaked when he saw who it was.  
  
Dan squatted down to Lucas's level. Asked a question.  
  
Lucas couldn't make out what his dad was saying.  
  
Uncomfortable, he leaned in closer.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
What a stupid sounding question. Dan felt lame, asking it. But it would be harder to acknowledge any concern.  
  
Lucas nodded. His eyes were still haunted with that empty look-Dan remembered it, vividly-and one side of his face was slowly turning into a mottled purple bruise. Wherever his body had taken the impact would soon be a darker hue, Dan surmised. He cleared his throat nervously.  
  
"Can you swim?"  
  
Lucas again nodded assent. His look was guarded as he straightened up.  
  
Dan unconsciously reached out to steady him, realized how cold the two of them must be. He shrugged out of his wet tee and draped it around Lucas's shoulders.  
  
Caught him as he slipped on the slimy rock surface. Lucas gently tugged at Keith's hand.  
  
The oldest Scott sighed, looked around in surprise, gaze lingering on Dan.  
  
"Little brother." Always-well, usually always- calm and steady. Like this boulder. Dan stepped even further away from Lucas, anxious not to establish any ties.  
  
"Do you mind telling me what happened?" Keith's voice easily carried above the sound of the wind.  
  
Dan's eyes narrowed. Lucas obviously hadn't told, then. What was with the kid? He shook his head. "Time for that later. I came out here to get you back to shore before this storm breaks."  
  
Lucas felt a raindrop on his face, then another. "Too late."  
  
"Help Luke. Get him in before it this gets any worse."  
  
Dan nodded, took Lucas by the arm. Lucas twisted back. "No. I can make it back on my own. Keith, you can't."  
  
"Luke, go with Dan. Someone will come back for me. Besides, soon as I rest up a minute more, I'll be able to swim back. You wore me out, boy." He smiled reassuringly, but Luke was having none of it, stubbornly waiting.  
  
"You two go on." Nathan suddenly appeared, his arrival previously unnoticed in the heat of the moment.  
  
All three whirled in surprise at the sound of his voice.  
  
"Hey, I'm only half winded." He sank onto a rock, gestured at Keith. "We'll sit it out a moment then head back."  
  
Dan abruptly released Lucas and started toward Nathan. "Son-"  
  
"I'll be okay, dad." Nathan's tone was hard. "I'm fine."  
  
'Lucas is the one who fell off a cliff,' his look clearly read.  
  
Dan, mouth tightening, jerked his assent. "Be careful."  
  
"I will." Nathan felt like a baby.  
  
Dan took the warning, dropped it. He saw Lucas, obviously unhappy with the situation, grew impatient.  
  
"Alright, we're heading in." He waited for Lucas to climb down, lower himself into the water with a sharp intake of breath. Dan silently cussed as he dropped beside him. The water was too chilly for his tastes.  
  
"Okay. Stay with me."  
  
Lucas felt the surging waves pull him out, then send him back with every crashing motion. The boulders strewn liberally about caused no end of swirling currents and eddies.  
  
Dan caught his arm, drew him closer. Lucas resented the action, Dan was coldly treating him like a child.  
  
He kicked back, sure, even strokes, heading for the nearest point of land.  
  
Dan tried to keep an eye on the independent kid. He was doing a pretty good job, fighting each wave in a way that reminded Dan of himself. But he seriously doubted Lucas could make it back on his own.  
  
Stayed close, ready to grab him.  
  
A particularly heavy wave crashed into them, sending the two into each other. The storm was finally upon them. Even Dan, with his powerful strokes, was making little or no headway. It was all consuming, the very struggle to stay afloat. He glanced back worriedly toward the rock he'd left Nathan and Keith marooned upon. Doing so, lost sight of Lucas.  
  
He felt a hand brush past him, seized Lucas by the arm and met his quiet son's eyes.  
  
"Let's do it!" Together, as a team.  
  
Because that was the only way they were going to make it back. Alive.[] 


	17. Uncaring

Thanks for the replies. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that there are people who actually enjoy reading the crazy stuff that comes from my brain. Scary thought!  
  
You are all very kind ...I know, I know, enough said.  
  
Chapter.17  
  
"You see them?"  
  
Keith Scott, squinting through the droplets of spray that lashed against their boulder.  
  
"He'll be fine." Nathan aimlessly fidgeted with Lucas' discarded stick.  
  
"I'm worried, that water's pretty tough looking."  
  
"We made it out here."  
  
Keith shifted his attention. "Nathan, you have something you want to say? Because I'm not the world's greatest at beating around the bush."  
  
"Must run in the family."  
  
"I said beating around, not beating the bush."  
  
Nathan caught the laughter in Keith's eyes and frowned. "You know, I don't have time for this."  
  
"Forgive me if I seem blunt, but you're a mess."  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Lucas is, too. Both of you. You're walking mental cases."  
  
"Just because you happen to be my uncle doesn't mean I'm going to sit here-"  
  
"What's so upsetting ? The fact that you know you are?"  
  
Keith shook his head, that famous sideways, half-rueful grin..  
  
"We're all messed up, in one way or another."  
  
"What is this, a free session?"  
  
"It's just life, Nathan. Just life."  
  
"You're full of it, you know that?"  
  
Keith shrugged, only half paying attention. "A person is formed from childhood. Shaped by everything around them. And, since most of are especially susceptible to the things which hurt us, that plays a big part in who we are today."  
  
Nathan focused on the pattern he was scratching.  
  
"What of it?"  
  
"The more someone hurts us, the more vulnerable we become. The more we hate that person, the more we take on their traits. We become them." Keith chuckled. "Crazy, isn't it?"  
  
"It's typical psychologist whatever."  
  
"Is it?"  
  
Keith let the question hang a moment before he slowly stood, rubbing a sore muscle in his back.  
  
"And walls. Those things we build to make us invincible. They're actually trapping us inside."[]  
  
Lucas fought to the surface, grabbed a lungful of air. Momentarily relaxed.  
  
The waves were actually working in Dan's favor. The way this kid was acting, gun shy. A peculiar twist of cool independence and uncertainty. Every time Dan started to make head way, Lucas pulled free and fell behind. Dan was tired of playing catch up. So each time Lucas got too far, the water seemed to slam them into each other and Dan wondered how long the kid would keep this battle going.  
  
"Stay with me!" He almost lost his patience. And there was precious little to lose.  
  
Lucas broke again, shook the water from his eyes. Dan sent a none too gentle kick in the kid's direction. "Over here!"  
  
Lucas was determined not to accept any help from Dan Scott. It's just that he was tiring rapidly and the whole cave excursion had left him winded.  
  
"Kid!"  
  
As long as Dan persisted in calling him by any term other than his name...generalizing his addresses to 'boy', 'kid', 'you', 'hey', he was determined to ignore him.  
  
Then he felt Dan's shove. Fought the waves, turned.  
  
"Shut up! Shut up!"  
  
The elder Scott fell back in surprise. Lucas' transition was lightening swift. Just as rapidly, he quieted and lowered his head, passing Dan with a surge of adrenaline.  
  
Rushing water. It pulled at you, fought, swept on, endlessly. Never merciful. There was no conquering the ocean.  
  
Lucas liked the way it made him feel, a tiny speck, because he knew it was having the same effect on Dan. He understood loneliness. In a way, it was his friend...because loneliness and solitude were closely linked.  
  
"That little -" Dan's thoughts were as turbulent as the twisting clouds above.  
  
Lucas had unknowingly released a side of Dan best kept hidden. Nathan had unwittingly awakened it during the father-son basket ball game.  
  
Dan ducked low into the waves, reaching out with wide, sweeping strokes.  
  
Lucas hesitated for an instant, sucking in welcome air. Saw movement to his left.  
  
Dan Scott. Cutting through the water like a knife. Lucas' eyes narrowed in disgust as his father passed him, throwing spray into his face.  
  
He breathed deeply, struck out one more. For the never-nearing shore.[]  
  
Dan staggered onto the beach, laughing, shaking the water off.  
  
"Who-oh!" He ran a hand through his wet hair.  
  
"What a rush!"  
  
A few raindrops hit him. Nathan and Keith had better be starting back by now...  
  
He'd shown that kid. Showed him what the old man was made of!  
  
Ran down the beach till he found the binocs and swung the strap around his neck. Breathing hard, he steadied them and focused on the rocks. Swore softly. Big brother hadn't started the trek back. And the water was growing nastier by the second.  
  
Found a juice box (Keith's addition to the supply list), emptied it and let it scitter noiselessly away on the wind.  
  
Started to wonder about Lucas. The kid should've made it back by now. He searched the area quickly, sure that no one was about. Raised the glasses to his eyes and swept the ocean.[]  
  
Lucas was making steady progress. At a snail's pace. The rain spattered above, offering no relief from the all-encasing wetness.  
  
He concentrated on the warm brown of the beach, kept time in his head, counting every stroke. He reached one hundred again, started over.  
  
It was cold. The numbers started getting all mixed up.  
  
Thought about the girls. Peyton and Hailey. Hailey and Peyton. Heyton and Pailey. It was a peculiar sing song that seemed to make sense.[]  
  
"Dang!" Dan slammed the binoculars on the ground. There was no sign of the kid. He could picture Keith's face, imagine him saying, "Couldn't handle it, little brother? I should have went back with him!"  
  
Whether or not Keith would say it like that, his pride spurred him to action. He was the man. Sighed, that feeling the conceited have of always being the ones trodden upon because everybody else just couldn't handle it.  
  
Headed out for the second time that day.  
  
There was a nagging pain in his side, but he attributed it to the cold. After all, he was a natural born athlete.[] 


	18. and Caring

Apologies for the long wait ...to anyone reading (though you've probably forgotten the story line by now). I was awake all night, each night, waiting for one of you to break down my front door...  
  
I was unable to post, and I've missed doing it! But unless my brother's computer has a baby computer for me, then I'll have to seize the occasional (rare) moment and update when I can.  
  
Appreciate all the feedback (as usual)  
  
Chapter.18  
  
"Let's do it."  
  
"I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to jump back in ."  
  
Nathan shrugged. "It's only going to get worse."  
  
"Yeah, I know." Keith rolled his eyes. Nathan found himself almost laughing like an idiot. Almost-but not quite. Keith had a peculiar way of twisting bad situations into a half comedy. And Nathan didn't know if he even realized it. One thing he did understand, for sure. Keith Scott liked to make people laugh. He had a unique lop sided humor that was hard to resist.  
  
"What are you thinking about?"  
  
Nathan focused, startled. "Nothing."  
  
"I'll bet." Keith checked his leg bandage, straightened with a groan of protest. "Give me one person your age who's mind is comfortably blank and I'll hand you the moon."  
  
"Better start jumping."  
  
Keith nodded. "Good. You can joke. I was beginning to think maybe you're mouth couldn't move that way." He sketched a half circle across his face. "Smile."  
  
Nathan's eyes narrowed. "You really don't know who I am. You've hardly spoken to me."  
  
"Operative word here is 'know'. I know what Dan's like. And you are more like him then you think."  
  
"I'm his kid."  
  
"Not a clone?"  
  
"I do my own thing."  
  
"That aspect of your personality is just screaming at me."  
  
Nathan tried not to smile. His thoughts kept drifting...wondering what it would be like to have had Keith as his dad-instead of Dan. Speculating...why wasn't Keith married?  
  
The answer was glaringly obvious. And he felt an undefined surge of... something.  
  
Lucas was his uncle's favorite.  
  
Because Lucas, whether he realized it or not, whether he fully appreciated the fact, wasn't Keith's nephew. He was Keith's son.  
  
Nathan ducked down, hiding his discontent. Drew violent lines through Lucas' chalky artwork.  
  
Lucas.  
  
Something snapped, clearing the jealous haze.  
  
Luke's discarded "crayon," clenched in his fist.  
  
"Come on." Keith leveled him with his quiet voice.  
  
Feeling as if he had fallen short, like Keith could read his mind...Nathan dropped the handful of wooden splinters and jerked his dark head.  
  
"About time."[]  
  
"Okay."  
  
Lucas paused for an instant, getting his bearings. Breathing.  
  
The approaching storm's swells rose up and down in an erratic rhythm that hid the shore.  
  
He was a little off course.  
  
"Lucas, stupid!"  
  
A rough wave arced above him, suspended for a moment.  
  
"Oh, great!" He splashed forward, voice cracking.  
  
The water pulled him under, a smooth downward spiral...he broke for air, kicking free, fleetingly remembering the slippery slide at the playground, how he'd fallen off it one school year....  
  
He was jumpy. The calming reassurance of Keith and Karen's presence couldn't protect him. And he wasn't doing his best, Lucas was letting Dan get to him.  
  
He had.  
  
"Okay, I can beat you!" He cut through the water with renewed vigor. Half of winning your battle was simply knowing what you were up against. A dark face took shape in his mind. The very waves seeped Dan. Lucas heard his careless laughter, flung at him with every crash of the ocean.  
  
The mocking, mere tightening of the lips, Dan's smile for him.  
  
"I hate you! Hate you!" Lucas choked on water, felt the rapid pounding of his pulse, light headed with anger. It warmed him strangely.  
  
A hand, fingers grasped his arm.  
  
Lucas flailed about, straining to see...there was no one there.  
  
A tiny part of his mind soothed him.  
  
Dehydration (yes, strangely enough). Shock, maybe. Lack of food. Sleep deprivation. There was a million different explanations.  
  
He tread water, struggling to retain his position.  
  
A head shot up out of the gloom, droplets of moisture raining down upon him. Lucas flung himself back wards as Dan Scott lunged for his son, arms outstretched.  
  
"We have to get out of here!"  
  
Lucas tried to shake off his father's hold. "I don't need your help!"  
  
"I came back for you!"  
  
Lucas didn't melt at the words. They were coldly spoken, born from pride rather than affection.  
  
"I'm making it."  
  
"You've been out here too long. This storm's going to slam you into some rock and that'll be the end of you're epic making it!"  
  
Lucas coughed, both of them circling, blinking in the enveloping moisture, hair molded to their faces.  
  
He was tiring. Luke abruptly quit the cat and mouse game, headed for land.  
  
Dan quickly caught up. Lucas abandoned all pretenses, threw his father a dark look and cast himself into the adrenaline surged race for shore.  
  
This time he wasn't getting left behind.[]  
  
Dan felt the ache in his side increasing with every stroke. He was tiring at an alarming rate, unable to get a lungful of air.  
  
Lucas stayed just ahead, the sound of his own ragged breathing piercing the deep, empty roar of the storm.  
  
Dan coughed, realized he'd been swallowing the stuff. What was going on?  
  
For Dan, the feeling of helplessness overpowered any physical discomfort.[]  
  
Lucas ventured one hasty glance behind, surprised that Dan was nowhere in sight. And then realization dawned.[]  
  
Dan fought weakly to the surface. It was the third time he'd gone down...didn't wonder how long he could fight it. Too used to being the victor. Knowing he was the best. Sure of himself. Except- the ocean didn't play favorites. It didn't care if you were a football hero who could lift a building in weights -or a skinny kid. The ultimate in uncaring. It made Dan feel hollow inside. Like when you were really hungry. Or waiting for dinner and there was that endless round of toasts...  
  
Slender fingers, entwined through his arms. Pulling him up. Into daylight.  
  
Dan collapsed against Lucas, unable to straighten his muscles. He knew the kid was straining, it was going to be a struggle to get them both back in. But he couldn't help it.[]  
  
It was a nightmare journey for Luke. Dan was absolutely no help. At least he had the sense to let Lucas do what he needed, not fight him.  
  
He couldn't believe this was happening. Never in a million years...rescuing Dan Scott?  
  
Dan revived somewhat as he felt the endless bottom begin to give way, replaced by solid earth.  
  
Lucas, his chest heaving with every movement, dragging him out of the water. Collapsing beside him, only halfway up the beach.  
  
Dan got an elbow underneath him and dazedly took in the scene. His mind was beginning to clear. Lucas was stretched out beside him, eyes shut, raindrops glinting on his lashes. Water streaked trails down the sand frosting his cheek.  
  
"You-you alright?"  
  
Lucas nodded, unmoving.  
  
Dan fell back down beside him. Lucas shifted so that his entire body was on dry land. His arm brushed Dan's.  
  
Dan jumped at the touch of wet skin, instinctively moved away.  
  
His mouth framed the words, "Thanks, son," but no sound came out.[] 


	19. Can't Fit You In

Chapter the 19  
  
"Do you see that?"  
  
Keith's face scrunched in concentration.  
  
Nathan followed the out-flung hand and his eyebrows shot up.  
  
"Crazy!"  
  
"I'd have to agree with you." Keith cleared his throat. "So, you ready to take me?"  
  
"Any time, old man."  
  
"Really? You've never seen my stuff in action!" Keith stretched, flexing his arms with gusto.  
  
"Gotta get er all warmed up. Like greasing the bolts."  
  
"I don't really follow the garage mechanic idioms."  
  
"That's because you're too worried about keeping the hands all clean and white." Keith grew serious. "A man should want to get down to the earth occasionally."  
  
"Becoming a grease monkey isn't my idea of masculine success."  
  
"Works for Lucas." Keith focused on the misty horizon. "I don't know, just saying." He shrugged. "I mean, Dan never took to it or anything..."  
  
Nathan frowned, interest piqued. "So...my dad wasn't any good at that sort of thing?"  
  
"Hey, I'm just saying he never tried it."  
  
"I don't think it would be very high on his accomplishments meter."  
  
"I still say he couldn't cut it." Keith poked Nathan in the arm.  
  
"Yeah." Nathan seemed to be in deep concentration. "Now that you mention it-"  
  
Keith paused in his ablutions. "Yes?" A little too eagerly.  
  
"The time my sock sort of went into the wrong chute."  
  
Keith's smile faded. "Not following."  
  
"You know. The toilet."  
  
"Aah."  
  
"I mean, everybody does that at one time or another-" he waited for Keith's affirmation.  
  
"Really? Oh, yes, okay."  
  
"Well, it took two days for the plumber to come. "  
  
Keith coughed. "Appreciating the pathos here, but don't you have like two dozen bathrooms?"  
  
Nathan looked serious. "There's only three and a half on that floor."  
  
"Oh." Keith nodded. "Yeah. Three and a half."  
  
"Well, it could've been worse," his nephew added, earnestly.  
  
"Oh, yes."  
  
Missing the sarcasm altogether, Nathan shook his head. "I watched the plumber when he fixed it."  
  
"And?"  
  
"He didn't even bother to look at it. His assistant just poked a wire thingie in and pulled it out. With his hand. I mean, couldn't I have done that?"  
  
"Nathan, I'm sure the guy had gloves."  
  
His nephew looked disgusted. "Fine. Could we get started?"  
  
"After you."  
  
Keith blinked up into the rain. "Careful getting off this rock. Stay close." He patted Nathan across the back.  
  
It was Nathan who seemed worried-about him. "Sure." He climbed down, turned to wait for his uncle when Keith fell into the water beside him with a splash.  
  
"Ow!"[]  
  
"Got to find the binocs." Dan's voice was weak, hoarse.  
  
He started to crawl over Lucas, down the stretch of beach.  
  
"He's okay."  
  
"Got to get him out of here..."  
  
Luke let his head fall back down. It was an effort, just moving his lips. "Nathan's alright."  
  
Dan turned on him, at him, all in one movement. "You don't know that!"  
  
Luke opened his eyes. "He's with Keith," he said, simply.  
  
Dan took the blow to his pride silently.  
  
"Big brother isn't the start all end all."  
  
Lucas didn't bother to look at him. "He is to me."  
  
"Oh, wow. Like everyone in town doesn't know that. My family is the topic for dinner conversation."  
  
Silence lengthened after that comment. Shadows, fleeting, low-lying clouds...Lucas stared up wards, wrapped up in the storm.  
  
Dan quietly studied his son's profile. The dark bruise all along one side of his face.  
  
"I never did say thanks."  
  
Luke barely shifted his gaze.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Not making me choose. On the cliff."  
  
"You wouldn't be making a choice. There was no choice to make."  
  
"That's supposed to mean?"  
  
Lucas rolled over and sat up. Hugged his knees.  
  
"I did have to make a choice, Lucas. It wasn't what you think. I couldn't just automatically decide to let you die."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"I know that doesn't sound like much, but what would you expect me to say? You know me too well to fall for anything other than the truth."  
  
He waited for a response, but his light haired son only nodded.  
  
"I said I'm sorry."  
  
"Why does it always have to be a decision?"  
  
Dan abruptly retraced his tracks.  
  
Luke didn't look at him. "I mean, lots of people have four or five kids. And they manage to make them all feel like they belong. Don't they?"  
  
"Danny's" eyes narrowed. He had no idea where this conversation was going. In a way, Lucas was uncannily identical to Keith. You couldn't form the smooth, standard replies when awkward questions jumped out of nowhere.  
  
"Lucas, is all of this heading for the 'daddy doesn't love me' line? Because I have heard enough from you about me and all my failings and how much you dislike me, and my son, and my treatment of Karen and stuff that would take a bulldozer to uncover. Why do you constantly dig up the past?"  
  
Lucas's voice was barely audible. "Because maybe I live in it."  
  
Dan pretended not to hear him, searching for two figures across the windswept ocean. In reality, he was straining to catch every word.  
  
"And maybe I want out, but I can't. I can't get out."  
  
Clenching and unclenching his fingers, in irritation. The former athlete strode down the beach, kicked at the scuttling gulls.  
  
Carefully watched the motionless figure out of the corner of his eye.  
  
No one was around. No one. Just the two of them. No secrets to hide, no tongues to gossip.  
  
Lucas had dropped his head onto his arms, out of exhaustion, no doubt.  
  
Dan pressed the image into his memory. Because tomorrow, they would all be back to normal. And normal-he admitted-hurt sometimes.  
  
He softly moved over the sand, till he was just over his eldest son. The one with heart, whether he himself approved of it or not... it was still nice to see...sometimes. To be around someone with heart. He could never forget the way Karen made him feel, whether his love for her was erased or not. Then again- he dropped down onto the sand-had he ever had real love to give to her?  
  
The answer made him ashamed.  
  
He touched Lucas's shoulder. So very gently. Afraid.  
  
Lucas looked up, hair tousled, that wild animal look in his eyes...half angry, half crazy, half frightened...on defense.  
  
But Dan knew how to act around wild animals. Or had used to .  
  
He brushed some of the sand off Lucas's cheek and offered a weak smile.  
  
"Sometimes, I do care. But not around people. I can't."  
  
"Don't offer me something you can never show me again." Lucas's cold tone couldn't quite hide the tremble in his voice.  
  
"You've always had Keith. I knew you would be okay."  
  
"I don't want to be just okay." Luke pulled away.  
  
Dan followed the curve of his son's features as he struggled to retain a mask of indifference.  
  
Threw patience aside. And reasoning. That wasn't Dan Scott. Impulsively pulled Lucas against him in an engulfing hug.  
  
Before Lucas's dazed mind could even piece together what was going on, Dan was gone.  
  
He wiped a hand across his eyes. He'd rubbed sand into them.  
  
Didn't leave.  
  
He didn't want to rejoin the real world.  
  
This one was infinitely better. He wanted to stay, while the others passed through.  
  
Because only he would know what he was missing out there.[] 


	20. Hot Chocolate

Gracious thanks to all who replied, AND all who read this!  
  
Chapter 20  
  
In and out. Over and over. Swishing water, cold breeze catching his hair, turning the moisture in his eyes to ice.  
  
Things never changed. Never.  
  
Lucas slammed himself down onto the beach. Oblivious to the wind. Bent his head, bracing himself. Not making a sound.  
  
He should scream. He should cry. Something.  
  
"Oh, God."  
  
Life was so crazy. Crazy!  
  
The unwanted son. Alone on a chilly beach, covered in sand, washed with rain. Tumultuous storm clouds sweeping past in short diagonal swathes.  
  
"He's so crazy."  
  
Lucas ran his fingers through his hair, beginning to understand why it was Haley's favorite past time.  
  
"Haley."  
  
Feeling like a messed up kid off some corny 'say no to drugs' commercial.  
  
He wondered where he'd be without Karen and Keith's influence. Their loving support.  
  
Maybe that was why he, of all people, connected with Peyton Sawyer.  
  
In her, he saw himself-with no supervision, no one who really cared, least of all understood. It was so simple to write people off as being crackpots. Sure, every kid has knocks. It's just that some people are cast from a gentler mold, emotions more finely chiseled.  
  
"Well, I guess nothing can surprise me now."  
  
Lucas offered up a half choked laugh.  
  
He felt dangerously near to tears, but manfully suppressed them. There was no way in hades Dan or Nathan Scott were going to catch him bawling on the beach.  
  
So he laughed again, instead. Laughed until the tears ran down his cheeks.[]  
  
Dan Scott was waiting for Nathan farther up shore. He'd found a semi comfortable niche among the rocks and, appreciating mightily the fact they were dry, settled down with his binoculars.  
  
A trifle embarrassed. And smug.  
  
Lucas obviously needed him, still desired him as a father figure, regardless of Keith's paternal tendencies.  
  
He'd read the anger and confusion, but also a warmth in the mere softening of Lucas' rigid body as he hugged him.  
  
Frankly, Lucas was an emotionally high-wired mess. Thanks to Karen's undue stifling in Lucas' upbringing. She had the kid tied to her apron strings. He wouldn't say boo to anyone without permission.  
  
Now Nathan, there was a man. No thanks to Deb.  
  
He tossed aside the last ener-g bar wrapper, snorted. Keith must be slowing his son up.[]  
  
Lucas idly wandered over the shell strewn ground. Peered into the gathering mists.  
  
He should be worried about Keith.  
  
Instead, the bottomless feeling inside ate at his concentration.  
  
Picked up a stone. Threw it.  
  
Looked for a way out.[]  
  
Dan tuned the tall, slender form in on his glasses. Adjusted the light colored blur.  
  
It was better than counting the tiny red bugs that scurried about his toes.  
  
"----!" And bit him.[]  
  
Lucas idly wound a strand of grass around his wrist. Tried braiding another piece in. It crumpled into a juicy pulp. He tossed the soggy green ball away. Better not grow his hair out. He sure as heck couldn't braid it.  
  
Little did he know his aimless steps had carried him to within a few hundred feet of Dan's hide away.  
  
Everything was shaded from the storm. Almost like night vision. The eerie green glow was present...[]  
  
Dan shifted in irritation as Lucas pattered into the water right in his line of vision. Cupped his hand, bringing it up to his face and letting it drip off. He moistened his lips, innocently unaware of prying eyes. Sank down, crossing his knees, waiting...and trying to stay conscious.  
  
The strenuous adventure was all too quickly catching up with him. He nodded off, jerked awake, blinked sleepily across the horizon.[]  
  
In his dream, the sand was a wet pillow. It was cold, like fetching the newspaper wearing only pajamas and feeling the invigorating nip of snow laced air.  
  
Steaming cocoa. With marshmallows. And Haley James, all curled up together on the window seat. Laughing.  
  
He was back north, in the old farmhouse, visiting Karen's relatives.  
  
Touching snow, loving the taste, which Haley insisted was definitely akin to vanilla ice cream.  
  
"Snow doesn't have a taste, " his aunt would point out.  
  
"Maybe you have to be a kid," Lucas had replied. And unknowingly touched upon the heart of the matter.  
  
Cold, brightly striped peppermints gleaming in their glass dishes.  
  
Unfamiliar faces. Snow, more snow. Eternal white. So bright it burned your eyes.  
  
Keith's arms around him.  
  
Haley, tearing open her gift and wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug, planting a sticky kiss on Lucas' cheek.  
  
"You'll always be my bestest friend ever!"  
  
Ever.........ever...[]  
  
"Hey, Luke!"  
  
Haley was hugging him. Again.  
  
"Luke! Lucas!"  
  
He tore himself away from the cozy living room with an effort.  
  
Wind lashed waves. Wet, everywhere water and stinging drops of rain.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Hales?"  
  
He must have been asleep for a long time, he was so cold and stiff it took an effort to sit up.  
  
Haley was begrimed, hair whipping about her face. Dirt smudged every feature, there were tears on both sleeves and her jeans.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Lucas frowned. "Haley, what happened? Are you alright?"  
  
"Whoah." She pushed him down. "Not so fast. I'm okay. And now that the edge is taken off your concern, mind explaining the purple skin?"  
  
"I fell." Luke reached out, touched her cheek.  
  
"You look pretty banged up yourself."  
  
"Ya, thanks."  
  
"In a very feminine sort of way."  
  
She laughed and hugged him. Tightly.  
  
Lucas blinked in the strong breeze, tried to focus.  
  
"Peyton. Where's Peyton?"  
  
"Back there." Haley gestured the way Dan had gone. "She twisted her ankle. Nothing serious."  
  
"How did you get out?"  
  
"Always need to know all the answers." She mock sighed. "We let ourselves get trapped in this little tunnel. The wrong tunnel, I might add. We thought it was the way out."  
  
"But how-"  
  
"The emergency team found us. Bunch of experts we turned out to be. It took them about ten minutes to clear through the blockage."  
  
She brushed a piece of hair back self consciously. "But what about you? Where's Nathan?"  
  
Lucas closed his eyes. "Long story, but Keith's with him. Dan and I swam in together."  
  
"Wait a second. Dan and Lucas? And what's this about swimming?"  
  
She discerned his uncomfortable silence and shook her head. "Shutting up now. I just went into overdrive when I got back and found out you guys weren't there, and-"  
  
Lucas pressed a finger against her lips. "We're alright, Haley. Everyone is alright."  
  
She twined her arm through his, helped him onto his feet.  
  
"You know the way back?"  
  
"Team is just behind. We scattered to look for you. The others-right over there."  
  
Luke caught sight of a couple dressed in dark uniforms. Talking to none other than Dan.  
  
Haley caught his glance.  
  
"You know, he was keeping watch over you."  
  
Lucas stopped in midstride.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah." She averted her eyes. "I mean, that's sure what it looked like, Luke."  
  
"He wasn't anywhere near me! He-"  
  
It was Haley's turn to shush him. "I ran ahead. I saw Dan. Sitting right beside you. He backed up at about 400 mph when he spotted me coming."  
  
Luke stared intently at Dan's back, that funny little frown crossing his features. "I don't get him."  
  
Lucas found himself suddenly caught up by the rescuers as they hauled him away from Haley.Pressed him down, began a quick examination. At least they'd let Haley awaken him.  
  
He met Dan's eyes as a woman bent to catch his pulse. The elder Scott nodded casually and turned away. The merest of an impartial greeting.  
  
"I'm alright, " he protested, for perhaps the third time. "I'm just cold."  
  
Someone finally wrapped a blanket about his shoulders. All he really wanted was a hot mug of chocolate-vividly recalled in the dream-and his own room, his own bed. Time to puzzle this all out.  
  
Haley slipped an arm around his waist as one of the workers led the way back, acting like he was made of glass. Dimly Lucas heard the other team member calling for backup. He guessed they were waiting for Nathan and Keith. Good. Worried about them...  
  
Cast one last, slow look behind him...felt Dan's stare lock with his.  
  
He broke it off. Too vulnerable at this moment for mind games and contests of strength.  
  
Haley, cheery as ever, trying to soothe him. He smiled. Like she hadn't been through trauma.  
  
Didn't see her catch Dan's eye and *something* pass between them.  
  
One step at a time. Back to reality.[] 


	21. His Bodyguard

Thank you to all my wonderful friends who have read-and reviewed-and waited- :o -I'm afraid this is a =rather poor attempt at getting back to the story, but it has been a while and it might take me a few chapters to get back in stride-thanks for understanding.  
  
Chapter.21  
  
Spinning. Not the crazy, downward spiral of an autumn leaf; slowly, gently...  
  
"Mr. Scott?"  
  
Strange female voice. What, was Dan there? Maybe it was Keith...  
  
He opened his eyes. One after the other.   
  
Concentrated on the blurry shadow that tapped his wrist.  
  
"Mr. Scott."  
  
Stifling the urge to mumble "Go away," Lucas sighed and concentrated on bringing the hazy form toward some recognizable shape.  
  
"About time."  
  
She gripped his arm unpleasantly, he turned, easing from her grasp and blinked.  
  
"What am I doing here?"  
  
"Don't worry. Just spent the night for a little observation. Doctor gave you a light sedative so you'd rest easy. You'll probably be leaving in a few hours."  
  
"Comfortable."  
  
They must have slipped him something. Sleep had never felt quite this delightful before.  
  
"I feel fine," he grumbled. "G'way."  
  
He was starting to remember. And he preferred to forget Dan, forget Nathan, not wade into the troubled Scott Family Waters.  
  
Water. Wonder why the thought seemed to-  
  
"Ugh."  
  
"Mr. Scott?"  
  
Fidgeting with something, still there. Hovering over him...  
  
"Mr. Scott, are you feeling worse? Would you like a drink of water?"  
  
Lucas feebly squashed a pillow against his ear and relaxed. []  
  
"Wake up, sleepy head!"  
  
Lucas felt the narrow mattress give, no, bounce. He didn't bother to open his eyes this time.  
  
"Haley-"  
  
"Time to get up in the morning!"  
  
"It can't be morning, it was morning last time I looked."  
  
"It's afternoon."  
  
Haughty pose. "My, aren't we grouchy!"  
  
"I guess artificial sleep has an effect upon me."  
  
"I'll say. Come on, time to take you home!"  
  
Abruptly, a thought sprung to mind.  
  
"Where's my mom?"  
  
"At the cafe."  
  
"Is she okay?"  
  
Lucas sat up so abruptly he knocked a water glass from her grasp.  
  
"Luke-"  
  
"Sorry." He swung his legs out of bed.  
  
"Um, take it slow, alright?"  
  
"I feel weird."  
  
"Karen's fine. Fine Luke." She punctuated the words with a sweep of her free hand. "Now, lie back. You going to go running through the streets in that?"  
  
He glanced down wards, half embarrassed.  
  
"I admit, it's a cute outfit, but-no." She tugged the bow behind his neck and grinned. "Nice gown."  
  
"Hales..."  
  
"What is it, Luke?" Something about the way he looked at her.  
  
"I-"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing. These dang pills." He flashed a smile that would have been comical if his face wasn't so drawn and shadowed.  
  
Haley tapped a light finger on his brow. "H-m-m. No sign of fever. Let's get you home."  
  
"Sure." The corner's of his mouth curved upward, this time in genuine amusement.  
  
"You going to help me get dressed?"   
  
"Lucas Scott!" Mock anger. Haley dove for the door, flung her head back to chirp,"If you need someone, the code phrase is 'I've fallen and I can't get up.' "  
  
Threw his pillow. It ricocheted off the door-frame and landed on Haley's toes. Laughed at her indignant squeal of protest. Hale's was definitely trying to keep things light. As if she read Lucas' mind, the unconscious need to avoid Scott Family History. For now.  
  
Those pills really worked. Lucas yawned and curled up under the blanket. Just one more minute...[]  
  
  
  
If Lucas needed to avoid "Scott's" for the next few days...he couldn't possibly hope for more than a week of unadulterated bliss...then now was not his lucky day.  
  
Haley grabbed Luke's elbow, tried to steer him around the corner behind that pitifully stocked vending machine...  
  
But she wasn't on Fate's Buddies List.  
  
"Darn!"  
  
Luke shook his head; it was obvious he was still slightly out of it.  
  
"You hungry?  
  
"Um-ya. Thought I'd get one of those horrid sandwiches everyone's always talking about..."  
  
He nodded encouragingly. "Okay."  
  
"What to eat, what to eat..." Haley stepped around him, cleared her throat loudly. "Hum. Ahm."   
  
Lucas heard raised voices floating down the hall; turned his head in casual interest-  
  
"Ooh, look at that one. Luke. Luke!"  
  
"Yah. That one looks good." Privately thinking "My mom could give you something that didn't resemble damp sawdust and pink tuna fish for free.."  
  
Haley punched him in the arm. "Excuse me? Hello? Are you paying attention?"  
  
Lucas sighed and touched her wrist. "Hales-"  
  
"What about that one over there? I don't know, maybe the little one in the corner-"  
  
"Hales." Lucas let his tone drop an octave. Then, "it's alright," more gently.  
  
"He's coming this way."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Was I that bad?"  
  
"Well-" Lucas cocked his head-"sort of a Kate-Hudson-How-to-Lose-a-Guy Impersonation-"  
  
Haley involuntarily shuddered.   
  
Dan Scott's perpetually red, usually excited visage appeared around the corridor.  
  
His eyes caught Lucas' and held them. Nathan, that same groggy look, Dan's arm around his shoulders.....  
  
The blond almost stepped back-wards, but held his ground at the last second. He wasn't up to this. He wasn't up to this now..  
  
It took effort, passion, anger and rejection to face Dan Scott with some semblance of respectability. At least in Lucas' mind. And his father's. He couldn't appear weak, he couldn't.  
  
Haley felt Lucas tense, unconsciously press her hand. He was still slightly spaced, almost wild eyed.  
  
She thrust out her chin, resolving to keep her promise to Karen and get Lucas home peacefully.  
  
Almost human moment on the beach or not, if Dan Scott started, he was going down.[] 


	22. It's Not Easy to be Me

Apologize for the tiny length; I am in my own candy-induced-up-at-3:30-a.m.-haze, but promise to update soon, and with something more interesting. I also want to thank, AGAIN, my wonderful readers who are completely responsible for every word I write. Without their encouragement, I wouldn't be writing this. I love you all to death. ( :  
  
Chapter .22  
  
Dan's mouth came open, an impatient gesture as he shoved Lucas aside, fingers tightening painfully around Nathan's arm.   
  
Nathan resisted, hesitating...looking at Tutor Girl...despising Brooke, petty nickname...Haley was beautiful. Simply beautiful  
  
Not in Peyton's purely pretty style; Brooke's sexy attractiveness. No, her beauty went deeper than that.   
  
Looked into that face, must be the drug induced haze...caught himself staring...[]  
  
  
  
Dan, brought up short, cast an impatient glance in his son's direction. He admired Nathan for accepting a challenge, but it was time to get him home, in shape. For practice tomorrow…[]  
  
Lucas caught himself against the edge of the vending machine, cool metal at his back, icy cold stare pinning him…his mouth was dry, limbs strangely immobile. Dang you, Nathan, let him pass, get out of here, now…  
  
The sedative left both boys mentally unstable. Lucas felt his emotions see saw between anger and a bone chilling weariness, dang the drugs. Nathan just stood there, unmoving, blinking foolishly at Haley.  
  
Dan looked about to burst. The familiar tightening of the mouth, barest excuse for a smile…falsely benevolent look taking in every factor and the unsteadiness of Lucas' appearance…[]  
  
Single female spectator in the Scott Family Saga or not Haley James found herself swept up in   
  
the moment, tense and not so coherent males stubbornly staring each other down. While Nathan grinned at her with an idiot's smile lighting his brooding face and Lucas, draped over the wall, tried to take Dan at his own game.  
  
Really weird, almost like being on TV…maybe she should jot down all this drama, it might make for a pretty good pilot on the WB…[]  
  
Lucas was the one who finally broke the silence. Haley heard him clear his throat, sensed his trapped feeling, the crazy pulse rate as she took his elbow.  
  
"Excuse us."  
  
Nathan merely blinked, shook his head, and refocused on Haley's features, right around her mouth…totally embarrassed, she ducked her head, aware of the medicines after-effects, but still confused…  
  
Lucas got the stare, his own mind hopping frantically from Nathan Scott's obvious obsession with his something? more than best friend, and Dan's dawning realization of the situation .  
  
"Crap." Haley barely breathed the words aloud, nervously tugged at a strand of hair, forced herself not to panic. Had to get Lucas outside, away from this, away now.  
  
"Well, nice meeting you again, Mr. Scott, but we really have to go." She practically drug Lucas upright and started steamrolling down the hall.  
  
Dan Scott obviously didn't catch the 'do or die' attitude, or chose to ignore it. He stepped around her, neatly blocking their path.  
  
Haley cast a sideways glance at Luke-ah, the moron was exhibiting a loud and clear 'Want to take me' signal. Why didn't he just -she pushed at his unyielding back-wave a red flag. Make it more professional. "Luke-"[]  
  
"Going home to Karen?"  
  
"Yes. I am." Lucas' whole demeanor was tight, guarded. He knew he wasn't as able today, more cautious. Felt Haley, a little pang of regret for getting her into this…  
  
"Or is it to check on Daddy Keith?"  
  
The smile filled Haley with an angry rage. Opened her mouth, only shut it in surprise as Luke lay a cautioning hand on her shoulder.  
  
"As a matter of fact, he's doing all right. No thanks to you."  
  
"If you're going to insult me, at least pick something that will actually make an impression." Dan casually dug out a handful of bills and inserted one into the pop machine. "Keith digs his own grave. He doesn't need my help."  
  
"Dad."  
  
It was Nathan, half drowsy and impatient.  
  
"Hold on, son. I was just making things clear for your friends, here."  
  
Dan snapped the pop open and tilted it, smirking at Lucas past the can.  
  
"No, I don't want to hold on. I want to go home, I'm feeling like crap." He passed a hand over his face. Lucas stepped forward to steady him, only to be shook off.  
  
"I don't need any of you." He met Haley's eyes, started jerkily down the hall. Dan had no choice but to follow, flinging back, "we're not through yet!"  
  
Lucas almost sighed in relief, waiting for his adrenaline to pass.  
  
"Let's go, Lucas."  
  
He sensed Haley's impatience with him. Admittedly, he was wound too tight.   
  
In the elevator, faced with her cold silence, rubbed his eyes; irritated with himself.   
  
He just wanted things to go back to normal. Just wanted to be home.[] 


	23. Stranger

Just a little snippet of a chapter. But I'm seizing the moment-err, second? to jot this down. Very little computer time available to me.  
  
Chapter.23  
  
Karen, tired but happy, fingers cupped around her mug for warmth...  
  
The antique clock on the counter, hands pointed toward half past eight...  
  
She scrunched her toes in the soft old rug Keith had teasingly dubbed the "shag," almost perfectly content.  
  
Life had been rather wild of late. Lucas seemed to be attracting trouble like a magnet, and Haley's own recent excursion had left her rather short handed at the cafe.  
  
It had pained Karen not to be there for Lucas, or Keith...but they were really alright, and their stay at the hospital was merely routine. She had tip toed in to plant a kiss on Lucas' cheek the night before; stayed up late, trying to catch up with some of the time consuming work. She knew Haley would be there for her two "boys." What a godsend.  
  
A small sound made Karen tilt her head, strands of wavy dark hair curling around her face.   
  
Lucas was still asleep when she peeked in, tucked up like she'd left him. He was out like a light, breathing soft and steady. Karen tucked a stray foot under the comforter and smiled. It was good to have him home.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"Go to sleep, Lucas."  
  
He sighed, pushed himself up. Moonlight cast gentle bars across the bed. Tousled hair, sleepy blue eyes-Karen laughed, caught his chin .  
  
"You know, I was looking at you and thinking, this is the little boy I was so scared about. The baby people told me not to have. I didn't listen to them. I kept you." She sank onto his bed, low laughter accenting the warmth in her tone.  
  
"I'd be lost without you, Lucas."  
  
"Mom." This time slightly embarrassed. "I love you, too."  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"I'm okay." He caught her hand as it smoothed his pajama shirt. "Really."  
  
"I know." Karen shook her head, half regretfully. "When I came in here, it seemed as if time had backed up, you were still a five year old boy that needed me to tie his shoes and part his hair."  
  
"I need you. Who would I have to talk to, keep me in line, tell me not to do something stupid?"  
  
"I can tell, but I can't stop you."  
  
"Then I can listen."  
  
"We all make mistakes. It's part of growing up. I expect you to be human." She raised her eyebrows. "Even if you are part Dan Scott."  
  
A smile broke Lucas' deep study.  
  
"New resolution number one: avoid school trips."[]  
  
Outside the comfortable house, lingering in the misshapen shadows cast by rustling trees, a figure stepped closer to the window.  
  
The Roe home seemed quiet and peaceful. Reddish light spilled onto the lawn from the tassled lamp in the living room. The curtains did nothing to contain the peaceful scene; Karen, humming to herself, moving softly about, sorting papers and receipts, penciling supply lists...  
  
A stealthy creak.  
  
Lucas slipped into the lawn, not furtively, but cautiously...casting several glances back. Not wishing to disturb his mother, no doubt.  
  
Safely esconsed in the night, the visitor settled down to watch.[]  
  
It was cooler out here, filled with the night sounds Lucas loved. A tree frog; the rasp of a nocturnal creature.  
  
Hugging his knees, the gray clad Scott settled into his familiar niche on the front steps. They were slightly damp, but not enough to be uncomfortable. Unaware of any spectators, relaxed...[]  
  
He watched the street light outlining the boy's face. There were large, dark bruises over one cheek, but the kid seemed to be alright; easy to read, expressionate eyes, depending on his mood. Which probably varied, if HE was any judge of character.  
  
Passionate: that was a given.  
  
But what was the kid really like?  
  
He wanted to know.[] 


End file.
